Friday, November 17, 2006

Permanency Crisis

Evan didn't seem to have one, well unless telling us he was addicted to codeine was it.

Carl went to a party he wasn't supposed to go to and got drunk.

David, not a licensed driver, borrowed a car.

Our licensing worker told me, after we had been doing care for about half year, that a good number of people who have worked for the state and then come into permanency care don't make it. He said they get used to having kids for about six months. Part of their coping mechanism is just to hold on for that long.

But also they had no idea that the kid was going to get worse, at least for a while.

It may be something special that happens with adoption or permanent foster care. It probably doesn't happen all the time, and maybe it doesn't happen as much when placements are indefinite and no one says to the child "you're staying here."

Think of it like this. You are on the edge of a cliff and someone puts you in a seat attached to a nice thick rope. You have been traveling over small, shallow gullies on similar devices for a while. Now however you are stepping off for a long ride. What do you do? Back away from the cliff and give that rope a couple of good hard tugs. Yank that sucker as hard as you can and see if it breaks.

Of course, if you are going to be doing this for years, you will have to stop every now and then to see if the rope is holding up, if you are still safe.

It is all perfectly reasonable.

It's just really, really tough if you happen to be the rope.

1 comment:

  1. Well, when things got that way for my mom she would also say, 'this too shall pass' then say a small prayer. It will pass....


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