Monday, November 13, 2006

More respite

So Jackie came and went. I will probably see her again at the first of the year. Mandy and her husband always takes respite at that time of year to travel to their adult children's homes.

Miss E is coming this weekend. I'm not certain if her FM has plans or just needs a break.

And I just got a call asking if Maria could spend Thanksgiving with us. She has permission to spend the day itself with her mother and her new family is going out of town for the weekend. I said yes. Maybe I shouldn't have. I've been doing a lot of respite recently and I getting to the point where I need someone to get some.

All three of these girls have been or are possible placements for us. None of them fit the profile of kids we are committed to taking, but they all are/were supposed to be short-timers.

Concerned as I am with the lack of good homes, I sometimes forget that there are other homes out there. There are other people who are willing to take these kids. Each of these girls is right now in a situation that is good for them. Worrying about whether it is perfect is not my job.

But of course I do think about it. Hubby and I talk about it. If Miss E disrupts from where she is would we take her? If Jackie is offered the chance to go into the permanency program would we take her? What about Maria?

Jackie is the hardest. She is the one that I am actually tempted to call and offer assistance for.

Mandy and John have decided to retire. They are committed to staying until Jackie turns 18 in May, but then they are leaving the state, moving to a place where they are not licensed and none of the case workers know they ever were. After 30 years of doing care they are ready to move on to the next phase of their life. Jackie is working on her GED and will probably finish before her birthday and so would not be eligible to stay in state care anyway. In May she is on her own. Her father is recently deceased, her relationship with his family is non-existent, and though she talks with her mother often, moving in with her is not an option.

Jackie was considering trying to get into the permanency program but has recently changed her mind. She's gone through a lot recently and changing programs would mean moving, and she does not want to leave Mandy. I believe that Mandy has told Jackie that if she wants to she can move with them, but they won't be able to do more than offer her a place to live. The transition/emancipation services she is currently eligible for are not great, but she will loose them if she moves out of the state.

So one solution is that she go into the permanency program and move in with us. She knows us, and I would support her seeing Mandy as often as she likes. Her 18th birthday would just be another day on the calendar. She would have choices, and more choices than she does right now.

But I am full of bright ideas and this is not my problem to solve.

I guess this is why I am a foster parent. I see these kids and I want to help.

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