Monday, September 03, 2007

What to tell Biokids about Foster Kids

I've talked to prospective foster parents before and I have given them the following advice: tell them everything. If you aren't ready to tell them everything, don't do care. If you leave something out, either the foster kids will fill in the details or their imaginations will, and either is worse than the truth.

So why the hell don't I listen to myself?

Why do I agree to take a child into my house who I know has had a violent past without talking to Brian about it?

Okay, so I and everyone else who knew about it agree that there is every reason to think that Frankie's violent past is behind him. There are reasons, not justifications but explanations, for why he behaved the way he did. Of course anyone could become violent, but there is every reason to think that Frankie is no more likely than anyone else.

So I am not particularly worried.

So why didn't I tell Brian? Was it because everything happened so quickly? We felt like we had to make a decision during his visit. We didn't have time after the visit to sit and talk about everything that we learned so quickly and make a family decision.

Brian was part of the decision of course, but we just asked him if he thought he could live with Frankie. We did not sit down and tell him everything.

And that was fine...right up until tonight when Frankie decided to tell Brian.


The whole, "I used to be a danger to society, but I'm much better now" story did not go over well.


I know better.

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