Sunday, September 16, 2007

Responding to comment

An anonymous commentor says:

Maybe some of Frankie's conviction that he wanted to present as a girl was a
form of rebellion, (unconsciously) calculated to enrage his previous caregivers?
Or something that he only wanted as long as it wastruly unattainable? It sounds
like now that he has the opportunity to explore this option in safety, he's just
not that interested with the reality of it. Although, of course, I suppose this
could change in a heartbeat! :-)

My gut tells me that desire to be a girl wasn't to upset caregivers. It could be, but I don't think so.

I still think his desire to be a girl is one of several things:
1. He is transexual.
2. He is something between a boy or a girl, or part boy and girl.
3. He is a gay boy who has reasoned that if he were a girl then he would be straight.
4. Fantasizing about being a girl has been something that has somehow kept him safe. Like imagining that you are really a superhero, or that you are really the child of a very rich family who is looking for you and will come and take you away.

Normally I would not suspect 3 or 4. But Frankie is a special case and ... well ... either of them seem quite possible to me. One of the reasons that I stitched up the falsies is to see whether it renews his interest in presenting as a girl.

By the way, I tend to assume y'all understand the difference between being gay and being trans. I know from inviting speakers to my classes that most of my students don't. Does anyone want me to try to write a post about how I understanding it? Or maybe even try to get a guest trans poster? The later option would probably be anonymous.


  1. Anonymous3:10 PM

    I could use some education in this department, so I'd love to read that post.

  2. I get the difference.

    Have you heard of that book Martian Child (or maybe it's Martian Boy). I don't plan on reading it, but one of the base premises is that this boy (who was adopted from foster care) liked to say/believe he was a Martian. I've read that fantasies such as that are common among abused and neglected children. It makes perfect sense -- they feel different so they come up with the alternate reality that makes really, really different. A fantasy, an explanation, something to explain away the things that make them feel different than other kids.

    I don't know Frankie and I don't know if that's how he feels. From your posts about him, I honestly don't get that impression. But it's a possibility I guess.

  3. Maggie, I know Frankie and I don't know for sure either.

    The longer I know him the less I would be willing to place a bet one way or another.

    He is a mystifying child.


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