Conversations about a Turnip

I had more email exchanges with the state worker that resulted in me sending an email to several people from the local agency in which I said, "What the hell?" (Or "What the Hot Place?" if we are still speaking Dootleese.)

I got a call back from the family developer, who was the only one I emailed who was in the office and I got to rant away for a bit. Anyway, I have my sense of humor back.

I got to tell the developer how upset I was that I found out about the TPR the day that Frankie moved in and that it was upsetting to me to have learned then because I like him and want him to stay (initially I think she was worried that the placement was shaky).

The family developer is pretty horrified at the state's worker cavalier attitude to Frankie being in court at the TPR hearing. Kids testifying against their parents is a BIG FRICATIVE DEAL, and not to be taken lightly. If it were to be necessary they would expect a great deal of preparation to be given to Frankie in advance. The state worker saying that is consistent with other things that this worker had said to them. She (developer) is not very impressed with this particular turnip.

The developer agrees that whatever happens at the TPR hearing will NOT be "great!" Either Frankie is made a legal orphan and stays with me, or he is reunited with his mom and I have to say goodbye. No matter what happens, someone will be sad.

She also does not know what The Turnip was thinking since these things don't always get settled on the date and time that they are initially scheduled. It could be complicated, and it could take multiple court dates.

The thing The Turnip said that made me lose it was to tell me that he was just now working on Frankie's alternative care plan and were Hubby and I interested in taking legal guardianship of Frankie, or even adopting him?

I imploded because being in my agency IS the "alternative care plan" or is supposed to be.

I was right about that, or at least I was right that the agency went into this with the same expectations. I did learn, by the by, that the agency is planning on moving in the direction of working with families who do permanent foster care, legal guardianship and even adoption of difficult teens. In the future I may be asked if I am interested in guardianship or adoption. It won't be thrown at me in a casual way though.

That it was the family developer who talked to me was probably a very good thing. She had not realized how complex the question would be for us families. She hadn't (yet) thought that one of my concerns would be, "Will Carl, David and Evan think that I don't love them as much if enter into a legal relationship with Frankie and not them?"

Oh well.

I got to vent with the developer and now I feel much better.

And I'm not going to email The Turnip any more if I don't have to.