Sunday, September 02, 2007

Not the best day

Brian and his friends went to a movie. They did not specifically invite Frankie, who told us later that he didn't go because he was not wanted. "The boys would not want an annoying little kid along talking all the time."

This I thought was an interesting thing to say since on one hand he is right that the boys would not want someone along who was annoying and could not be quiet. He seemed to be able to predict this behavior and predict that he would not be able to control it. It is not the first time, by the way, that he has identified himself as "little" compared to Brian. He is shorter, but he is also two years older. Of course he seems younger to me too, but I don't think any of us have said anything to that affect within Frankie's hearing.

Of course if he had simply said he wanted to go, he would have been welcomed (well, at least accepted).

But Frankie stayed home, and since he seems to have casted himself in (or resigned himself to) the roll of the annoying little brother, he called Brian on Brian's cell phone in the middle of the movie. Brian turned off his phone when it rang and Frankie left a message...something to the effect of, "I'm watchin can't see me, but I'm watchin you."

He spent some of the time at which the other kids were at the movie drawing a picture on the computer of someone hanging from gallows.

When Brian got back he yelled at Frankie for the message.

Frankie is now downstairs watching Brian and his friends playing video games. There doesn't seem to be any tension at the moment. Everyone understands that it is best if Frankie just watches. Though the other boys would be reasonably patient if Frankie did not play as well as they do and had a sense of humor about it, Frankie would get frustrated and upset.

Frankie was playing some sort of game on the cell phone but it wouldn't work right and was stupid so he deleted it from his phone.

If anyone is wondering what I did about all this, the answer is: I ignored it. Well, mostly. Hubby gave Frankie feedback regarding the whole movie thing, and I let Brian vent in my direction regarding the annoying phone call and message. Otherwise, we let them deal with it. It will be Hubby's turn to take Frankie to the counselor on Wednesday and he will bring the whole movie incident so the counselor can talk with him about it -- if Frankie wants to.

Frankie's phone allows him to make short voice recordings and he has made several to be personalized rings on his phone. If I call him his cell phone will sing, in Frankie's gravely and off-tune voice, "My mom is calling. She's better than your mom, because she calls me. Does your mom call you this much? I have a mo-om, and she is calling me."


  1. well now brian has been wanting a little brother. there's an old saying, 'be careful what you ask for...' i love the ring tone!

  2. Oh. Oh oh oh.

    I know that the kids you parent are not little kids, but growing people of their own. I know that the reasons for fostering are all over the place and that it's not cool to have a savior complex. I know all that.

    But when something like Frankie's ringtone happens it makes my heart thrill and I'm greatful that you are out there dealing with the issues and doing what you do.

    I don't know how that can be a sign of anything but healing in a little boy.

    Oh. My heart just broke. Good job, mom who calls.


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