Friday, April 20, 2007

Unedited thoughts

I got tagged.

And for some reason I am feeling out of sorts with the blogosphere. I stumbled across a couple of blogs that at one level really interested me and at another level ... didn't.

I'm in this weird junior-high mood. Like I go to someone's blog and they have a blog roll and there is a list of my most favorite blogs and I'm not on it. And I think, why don't they like me? I mean, they HAVE to know about me. They are reading X's blog and X likes me and even talks about me. So why aren't I on their blog roll? And the I realize that they are not on my blog roll either, because I just found them even though clearly I read X's blog and X has probably mentioned them and I just wasn't paying attention.

Or I will be reading someone else's blog and someone in a comment will identify themselves as a foster parent and they have a blog and I will wonder how in the world I could have not known about them, like somehow every foster parent in the entire blogosphere is supposed to be known to me. Why? Why should that be?

Or I find a blog that I suspect I would really like if I would just give it a chance but all the posts that happen to be on the main page are about how absolutely adorable their children are and I find myself throwing up in my mouth instead. And then I feel really bad, because their children are adorable, but I just don't care. (I'm not talking about your blog or your children, of course. You I already like. You had me at "and then he peed on my leg, literally" or whatever other evidence of flawed humanity I found when I visited your blog. I love your pictures of your distinguished and terminally cute children, and the stories of how smart and insightful they all are.)

Or I find a blog that is really snarky and strangely written and exactly the sort of thing that I would like to read, except that I think a lot of the posts have been deleted or the author is really writing for family because important pieces keep getting left out of the story. You know like one post says, "We are really looking forward to going to the zoo" and then the next post says, "I'm so glad we went to the ocean" and I'm think WTF??? So I think that maybe I should just read the whole thing from beginning to end, because it really is snarky and fun. It just doesn't, you know, make sense.

And then I remember that tonight is the PFLAG business meeting and I still haven't finished the newsletter and I don't think I even sent out the minutes like I was supposed to and I have been spending hours on the blogosphere and I must ... stop ... doing ... that.

But then I have been tagged and I told the very nice blogger who tagged me that I would do it if she would put me on her blog roll (see aforementioned anxiety about appearing on every blog roll in the blogosphere) and she said she would so I have to do it.

Only I can't decide whether to do it quickly when I am feeling like a piece of doo doo for not getting the newsletter written, or whether I should put it off until some time when I can give it some and reflection and then I think, the stupid meme is supposed to be fun, not a difficult homework assignment, just do it already!

Except that I have to go write that newsletter and go to the business meeting and be a good person and fight for justice and equality, but I would really rather take a nap.

I'll do the meme tomorrow when I am not insane, I promise.

And maybe I will even put in links to some of the your wonderful blogs I was aluding to, except I would be worried about making someone feel badly that I left them out, so maybe I won't.

6 comments:

  1. Wow...I had no idea my paint fumes were traveling across states!! All we have to do now is follow the white rabbit....

    :-p

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  2. Ah, that inner junior high girl. I know her too.

    Some things just never change, no matter how old we get.

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  3. Hah! How did you know I was out here reading you on a Friday night? Meh, I guess it was a safe bet. Just me and my chevron scarf...

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  4. Can I sit next to you at the junior high table? I do this exact same thing. Why don't people comment? Why aren't I on the blog roll? Etc. Etc.

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  5. me too. I go to Baggage's blog and she has a billion comments and I'm jealous and then I'm disgusted with myself for being jealous and my wife rolls her eyes at me for whining about why strangers don't like me more and then I hear how stupid I sound and then I go to bed.

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  6. I have to qualify that this week saw some incredible support from people I didn't even know. And I realized further that my insecurities were petty. I was just responding in an unedited fashion in response to the unedited post :)

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Comments will be open for a little while, then I will be shutting them off. The blog will stay, but I do not want either to moderate comments or leave the blog available to spammers.