Monday, February 02, 2009

Is he lying?

I'm having a grumpy afternoon.

I left work after an hour this morning because the heat was broken (and none of the profs who came in early called maintanence), and the cold was setting off my asthma. For a while I was going to try to stick it out but people kept expressing sympathy for that horrible cough I had. So I went home.

I never get as much work done at home.

Anyway, I got a text message from Gary when he got out of school.

Okay, first some geography. We live in Our Small Town. The boys' charter school is THAT way. (Can you see me pointing?) We will call that town Schoolville. The public bus goes back and forth from Our Small Town and Schoolville. If you keep traveling THAT way you get to The City. There is a public communter bus that goes in the morning and come back at 5:00pm, but that is all.

So...I get a text message and Gary wants to know if he and Girlfriend can go to the mall in The City.

Sigh. I told him yesterday that I would assume that he knew he had to ride the bus and not ask him about it, but that it was important to me to know where he was and who he was with. I texted back, "There is no bus to the mall in The City. You can go to the mall in Schoolville, crappy tho I know it is."

He texted back, "The mall in Schoolville will be fine."

So, is he lying? Did he go to the mall in Schoolville, or does he figure that I just don't want to be put in a position of knowing he is riding with Girlfriend and so is lying about where he is going?

It makes me tired...wondering whether he is telling me the truth.

Suddenly I am remembering all the times when dealing with the agency rules have given me headaches.

I wonder if it would have been easier if I had told him that he had to be home on the public bus every day at 3:30. If he stayed at school he would need a sign note from the teacher. Lay down the law. Follow all the rules. No exceptions. No trying to find a reasonable compromise. I don't know if he would sigh and accept that or if it would lead to more lying and sneaking around.

I'm not upset or angry, but I really am tired. If I find out that he has gone to the mall in The City (though I am not going to go crazy trying to track him), there will be a change in the rules. He doesn't understand that I really meant it about telling me the truth. He does not have permission to lie to me so as to avoid the state's driving rule.

And of course it is possible he really did tell me the truth and went to the mall in Schoolville.

I can dream.


Still obsessing. The thing is, I know that nothing is WRONG. He's a basically good kid who wants to do ordinary not-bad things. I want to let him do ordinary not-bad things. I'm just frustrated.


  1. I had to laugh when I read this. It is exactly what I am dealing with. Mine lie so much that every time they ask to go somewhere I spend the whole time wondering if they are really there or somewhere they are lying about. Quite irritating, especially if nothing is happening (which I hope it isn't)but then I've wasted all that irritating suspicion for nothing.

  2. I think the whole teen thing is an exercise in frustration for everyone involved. And didn't the heat breaking happen last year too?

  3. OMG...that brought back memories (actually...this whole theme has!) - I hated being in that situation...having a 14 yr old that just wanted to skate w/ his buddies after school but couldn't because of agency rules but I REALLY would rather know where he was even if breaking the rules but if he did then I had to report it...on and on and I'm tired too and I'm not even experiencing it!LOL

  4. If this is the worst thing he puts you through that cannot be so bad. :)


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