Sunday, January 06, 2008

French Onion Soup

I just quarrelled with Evan. Not a big quarrel. Not a bad one... but it has been so long.

He volunteered to make french onion soup for dinner tonight. He volunteered a while ago. He asked me if I would buy the ingredients. I said yes.

Two days ago I said yes. Several times.

Yesterday I said yes. He started to explain to me that he wanted two kinds of onions, told me where the list was, asked me if I would be certain to buy enough of this and enough of that. I suggested that he go to the grocery store if it was that complicated. He laughed and said in a teasing tone that there was no way that HE could go to the store. He does not have the time in his busy schedule to do something like that.

Yesterday I began to feel really bad. He again reminded me about my need to go to the store. I suggested that he go. He again, in a teasing voice, insisted that he could not be expected to go to the store.

Just now he came into the living room, where I am sitting, feeling icky, not wanting to go anywhere or do anything.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Some. I still have stomach cramps though."

"So you are going to the store?"

I look at him dully. "I still don't see why you can't just go."

He laughs, points at himself, "I can't go to the store!" He goes on. I don't remember exactly waht he has to say.

I try to find the teasing tone to banter with him, but really, I just want to go back to bed. "No, really, you should go. You have to do X, anyway, and you can do that at the same time."

A bit offended and still trying to banter he says, "I have to do X? I can do that when I go to do Y."

"And you could go to the grocery store too. One trip. Everything accomplished."

"No you need to go. We need more bread, and ____, and ____." (Not an effective argument to a woman with stomach cramps and no appetite. I give him a dirty look. He says, "I'm trying to motivate you."

I'm feeling badgered. He has been pestering me about going to the store for three days. I KNOW that this is about a history of broken promises. I know that he can't just trust me to do what I said I would after one asking. I know that he has to ask me over and over. Still, I'm tired.

I should have just been honest. Changed the tone. Stopped trying to banter with him. I should have told him that I felt badly and would ask Roland or Andrew to go. If neither of them wanted to we would just have to do it another day. I didn't though. I tried to stay with the bantering tone.

"You can't guilt me into it."

"Heh, I am a LOT better at this game than you are."

"Well, I can't be manipulated into doing something I don't want to do."


"Fine." He walks out.

Sigh. Not one of my finer moments. I should talk to him.

I don't want to though. I'm tired. I'm stressed to the limit about reports that are only partly done (did I mention that I lost three hours of work yesterday because I forgot to save, which is very uncharacteristic of me?). My stomach is cramping and I can't face the idea of walking through the store and looking at all that food, although good soup for dinner does sound perfect.

I feel whiny. Why can't he go? He isn't going to do anything else except watch reality TV and play video games.

I don't want to be the grown up today.

Update: Andrew volunteered to go, but wasn't sure he would know exactly about what sort of onions Evan wanted. Evan said he would be happy to go with him.

So was his unwillingness to go before about being worried that he wouldn't get paid back, or did he not realized that I really didn't feel like going?

I suspect the former, which annoys me because I didn't ask him to pay rent for the month he is staying here. In the summer he insisted on paying rent and then that functioned as his excuse for not having to contribute, which was fine. I mean, he was paying rent. This time it is apparently even my job to talk to the agency about whether they will pay what they did during hte summer.

I really don't mind that he isn't paying rent. Really. I'm happy he is here. But I find that I do resent it when he doesn't pay rent AND complains when I run out of food that he wants more than anyone else does. Why can't he go to the store and pick up some d*mn lunch meat?

Lordy, I'm whiny today.

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