Claudia has a great post. She wrote from the perspective of the kids adopted from foster care. I think she captures beatifully why Mother's Day is so painful for our kids, even when every other day is fine.
I know it's Mother's Day. I know I'm supposed to be nice to you because you
chose me -- because you have given me a home and because you love me. But today
I'm not thinking about you. So not only do I have to feel bad because the mom
that gave me life didn't want me, I have to feel bad for ruining your day
Note: I think that a lot of the mothers who lost their kids to foster care did want their kids. Wanting them though wasn't enough. What happened was ever so much more complex than that. The kids, however, experience as simple. In their minds their mothers made a choice and it wasn't them.