bodily woes

So I worked on and off on this post about my bodily woes. It was partly a post about not wanting to tell very many people because It Might Be Cancer, and though I'm not really worried about that, other people will probably get worried and sympathetic and that is more than I can deal with.

and it was partly about frustrations waiting for appointments and hoping that there wouldn't be any reason why I would have to cancel my trip in a couple of weeks, cuz it would really bite to have to miss the trip.

And it was also about not wanting to talk to the people at the agency until I have something to tell them, which should be fine except Gary's new social worker (who was and is Frankie's social worker) is coming on Thursday afternoon and the licensing worker is coming on Monday. They both ask questions, and I want to be able to say, "I'm scheduled for a hysterectomy on June 15 (or whenever) and we won't have any problem with Gary staying." I don't want to evade questions or give them part of the information and then deal with them being supportive and sympathetic.

I need a business-like attitude with a side of dark humor, please.

I especially want something definitive to tell the licensing worker because I have literally never met her and sharing information about my lady parts just feels too personal. (Yes, I see the irony -- declaring I want privacy about something by writing about it on the itnernet).

And it was also about feeling so blasted tired. I took a nap today, and I don't really take naps. I'm wore out. I've spent too long in this state of suspension, waiting to find out what is going to happen next. The school year is winding up, and maybe I'm just a bit anemic? I mean, I have been bleeding, though slightly, more days than not. Or maybe I'm just stressed and tired.

And I want to write this completely separate post about how I got angry at Gary and he totally turned on the charm and it worked, and then I realized what he was doing and said, "Okay, it worked. You charmed me and I'm not angry anymore" and he said with a totally straight face, "I wasn't trying to charm you. I'm really interested in philosophy."

But I'm too tired and I can't make the posts be interesting, so that's all you get.

I'm supposed to bring cheesecake to the departmental party tomorrow. I make one almost every year. It's sort of a tradition. I'm wondering if it would be really horrible to just buy one from the grocery store this year.

either way I have to decide now. Cheesecakes have to be baked the day before (or at least in the morning, but I have to proctor an exam in the morning).