Saturday, April 25, 2009

Signs You're Getting Old

When you are younger the things that make you realize you are getting older are generally all about you. You get a driver's license, graduate from high school, order a beer and hope to get carded. Maybe you get married and have kids.

Having the first kid was a big one for me. I remember standing in the hospital room look at Andrew and saying to Roland, "It's just preposterous that we are parents." The nurse walked in at that moment, laughed and assured us we would get used to it.

Buying a house was a big deal too.

But at some point you, or at least I, crossed a line where the markers seem all to do with other people. My son is getting a driver's license, going to college. The colleagues who mentored me are talking about retirement. My students are my the age of my children. It really gets you when you aren't expecting it. Like when you go to a new optometrist and he looks like a child. How the heck did THAT happen? How did I get that old without even noticing?

Oh there are things that have to do with me, but somehow they don't have the same impact. I'm getting older. I know that. Even recently my body has been doing things that might mean "welcome to perimenopause." I think menopause itself is going to feel like a major life marker, but getting a notice that it might be four or so years off doesn't feel surprising. Of course it is my body, I know it is coming.

The other day though I was complaining about it and Roland asked me. I told him that my body wasn't following the rules anymore. He was worried, thought I should see the doctor. I said, "I'll make my yearly appointment soon, but it is probably either just because I got sick, unless it is perimenopause."

"What's perimenopause?"

"Oh it's the four years or so before menopause when your body isn't following the rules anymore."

I looked at his face. The worry faded, replaced by a confusion, and then, slowly, horror. I could almost read his thoughts.

"I'm married to a woman who is about to go through menopause? How the hell did that happen?"


  1. LOL I'm glad he was supportive. We aren't getting old, we've just watched the rest of the world catch up. LOL They just seem to be catching up faster and faster.

  2. Did you tell him about the effect of pre-menopausal hormones on the libido? Because he might be ok with that part.

  3. I knew a man whose wife was 6 years older than him. She went thru menopause early - in her early 40's. He told me that once he was making love to her and he felt "revulsion". He stopped and since then slept in a separate bedroom. They are still married, still separate and it's been over 15 years. Can you imagine?

  4. ROFL! Bald Man and I trade stories of body betrayal.


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