Friday, April 17, 2009

Dinner with David

So David and DBF (David's Boyfriend) came over last night.

DBF is older than David, maybe even 10 years, or not. He is losing his hair and he has had a tough life. He's been living on his own since he was fifteen and has very little contact with his family. I said, "I'm guessing they have a problem with your being gay?" He responded that that wasn't the case. He has a problem with their chemical dependency, criminality, and violence.

So he and David understand each other. Only David grew up on foster care, but DBF probably wonders if it would have been better to have done so.

Now, David is generally deceitful, but he doesn't flat out lie. I've learned over the years to listen very carefully so that I don't draw false conclusions from what he says. As a teenager when I was explaining to him that curfew was whenever it was he would sit there silent. In frustration I would finally say something like, "Do you understand what I am telling you?" He would immediately make eye contact and say, "yes" very clearly and firmly. I felt satisfied that I had finally got through to him. Then he came home whenever he felt like it. If I refered to the conversation he would state that he never agreed to be home at any particular time.


Anyway, I still pay close attention to what he says. I think he is more honest with me than he was, partly because I am not trying to get him to do things he doesn't want to do.

So...he told me that he was working on a GED program on-line and had taken some of the tests. I was surprised that you could take them on-line. I would think they needed to be proctored. He said they didn't. It is possible that the on-line tests are practice tests, or maybe they are actual tests, but I believe that he is in a GED study program and that is a big step forward so YAY!

I told him that when he could show me his actual GED certificate I would take him and DBF out to a nice dinner. He grinned.

He is working in a video store. The assistant manager is on notice and the manager is deciding who to promote. There are only a couple of people who work there. This is a second job for one and he believes he is a much better employee than the other, so he thinks he has a good chance at it. It would pay more than minimum wage, so that would be good.

We talked about our dogs. I went on and on about all the other kids. And I hugged him a dozen times.

Roland cooked dinner. It was pretty good. He cooked some chicken breasts really well. We also had good bread from the store, a salad that was just tore up lettuce, and ice cream for dessert. Not fancy, but presentable and I didn't have to cook! (I had to stay at work late for scholarship interviews.)

When they left I told him that if he ever changed his phone number and didn't tell me for three months again I would actually slap him instead of just yelling at him. DBF said, "I told you she was going to be mad."

I hugged DBF and said, "You know we really like you, right?" He smiled. "Now, don't let David be mean to you. If he ever is, you call him and I will yell at him."

David said, "Heh! It's supposed to be the other way around! I should get to tell him that if he isn't nice to me my mommy will beat him up."

I gave him a hug and said, "Sorry dear, but you know I'm looking out for your long-term best interests here." He said he did.

All my boys are safe and warm.

I slept well last night.


  1. awww. That was really sweet.

    When I was first married I would run to my mother with husband complaints and she ALWAYS sided with him. Always. I tried to explain to her that she was supposed to support ME!!! Ever so frustrating but it was nice to know that they loved him even when I wanted to poke him in the eye.

  2. Sweet moments. So glad you got to see him doing well. He is blessed to be loved by you.

  3. That was parents have known my husband since he was a kid and once, after a fight early in our marriage, they came to me and said something like "you know you can always come to us..." and I perked up thinking they were going to tell me to kick him to the curb but then they said "but we know you and we are wondering what you did to him"

    Yeah...he still won't let me live that one down!

    Glad you guys had a nice dinner and time to reconnect.

  4. So many blessings for him and for you!


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