Saturday, April 04, 2009

Dad Spotting

Gary has seen his dad twice recently.

As in Gary has been somewhere and seen his father drive by without acknowledging him.

The first time he was standing waiting for the bus. The other was today. They were both in vehicles. Gary feels confident that his dad noticed him both times but I am not certain about the second one. There were quite a few people in the car and people driving, as his father was, often look at other vehicles without paying much attention to the passengers. I do believe that it is likley that his dad saw him clearly at the bus stop. It isn't a little booth; it is a sign on the corner on the edge of a golf course. There isn't anything for a tall teen boy to blend into. It is possible that he didn't notice him, but it doesn't seem likely.

Gary remarked that he has been seven months since his dad called him. Seven months since he has heard from him.

The social worker did some research and found his current address. She sent a letter. Gary says that his stepmother might have thrown it out without telling his dad. The social worker said she would send a registered letter that his father would have to sign for. All the letter says is that Gary is doing okay and he (dad) has the right to information about him. Gary doesn't think anything will happen as a result, but it is the right thing to do.

I feel badly for him. I know that Gary is hoping that his dad has noticed him and that that will make him initiate some sort of contact. I would like for it to happen too.


  1. I'm so sorry for Gary. There is nothing worse for a guy than to have his father turn his back on him. I truly feel for him and understand. I hope he has a better resolution to the situation and that his Dad will at least send a message to him.

  2. I'm sad and mad on Gary's behalf. May he be strong and happy despite the bad hand he was dealt.

  3. It breaks my heart. There isn't a child on the planet who doesn't deserve better than that.

  4. It's too bad the sw letter can's say something like "Gary would like to hear from his dad", which is somewhat different from "Dad having a right to see him".

    Feeling rejected by a parent always sucks. My father more openly rejected me as an adult and a part of me still reacted with that same childish disbelief and pain.

  5. Lee, I'm not sure exactly what the letter says. The social worker might indicate the Gary is interested in contact. I know she doesn't want to get his hopes up. His hopes are pretty low, although that seems consistent with being disappointed and angry.


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