Saturday, July 19, 2008

Update on Gary's Father

Gary told me that his father and stepmother are definitely getting back together. It means that he is not going to get to live with his dad, but he saw it coming. In the course of the conversation he mentioned both that his stepmother does and always has lived in the town next to ours and that his father is still committed to trying to find a job in this area so he can live with them full-time.

I had thought that that the stepmother and siblings lived in another state, but I realize that no one actually said that. It creates a different picture for me, of the past and of the possibilities for the future. I don't know if his father will find a new job. I understand he has quite an incentive. Before I thought it was something he was going to do if his marriage failed. Now I suspect it is something he needs to in order to save his marriage (although I recognize that as a guess).

It does mean that his father is in the area much more than I thought, and that his presence here is not just to see Gary.

I think Gary is happy here. He is sad not to live with his father, but he does not dislike us. He knows he is safe. He talks with us. I'm glad the new state social worker is more supportive of him having visits with his father in ways his father is comfortable with. I know that as long as his father and stepmother are living together, Gary will not be allowed to go home.

I find myself relieved for myself. I do really like this kid and I want him to stick around. I am sad for him, but also relieved that he wasn't kept dangling too long.

We will see what will happen. The agency worker has had one conversation with Gary's father about setting up a dinner with everyone. He wants to meet with her separately first, and she has agreed to that. Gary is nervous that he will be antagnostic and make a relationship which should be helpful to him more difficult.

I suppose we will see.

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