Thursday, July 10, 2008

Gary's Shifting Focus

I'm not sure if it is a part of his personality or about his new found freedom, but Gary is having trouble staying focused. Have you noticed?

A while ago he was very excited about football. Our high school is large and one of the advantages of that size is that we have a good team. He was anxious about meeting the coach. He made all the necessary calls to get medical information to the school. Permission forms were faxed from office to office to school so that he could play. Roland even bought him cleats.

Now he is excited about this charter school. It is a K-12 school and has a total limit of 400 students. This does not bother him as he once lived in a tiny town with a tiny school. Of course they don't have football. He might still be able to play football with our school, but if he can't that is okay.

There is a judo class at the recreational center near the charter school (which is not near the house) that he would really like to take. There is a martial arts class MUCH closer to us, but it is a class in which they teach a variety of martial arts. He wants to study judo. The class meets two nights a week and starts in the fall. He could take the public bus over (right after he gets home from the charter school?) although he would need us to go get him after since the buses don't run that late.

The kid in a candy store metaphor is so tired, but it is what seems to come to mind. At least there is something very little kid about him right now. "I want this one, can I have this one?" "Ooo....wait, can I have this one instead? This is SOOOO cool." "Oh! Oh! Look! I want THAT one."

I spoke to him, very gently, about it on the way home. Told him that I knew it must be difficult to stay focused when he has had no choices at all for so long, but that I wanted him to know that I was hoping he would find a focus soon.

School will, I hope, focus him. Whether he ends up at the charter school or the local high school he will actually be somewhere. His time will be structured, and I am confident that he will make friends wherever he is.


  1. He may need some guidance in making choices. If he was living in a highly structured setting, he probably has limited experience with the steps of making a decision--prioritizing, gathering information, figuring out what's realistic, even knowing enough about himself to know what he wants. Also, he hasn't made the opportunity to make bad decisions often enough to consider avoiding similar ones.

  2. Overstimulation? Too many new and wonderful things that he has never had before and he wants a bit of all of them?

  3. Give me the chocolate truffles please! Hopefully Gary will settle down before you run out of patience.


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