Friday, July 04, 2008

Ignoring a Little

From Yondalla:

All things considered, I think it better for my father to be sneaking off to smoke pot rather than to drink vodka. Don't you agree? I mean, if those are my choices.

It is difficult to know what to think when one's father is an addict. I have very little sense of where the line is. What is unreasonable on either of our parts?

What would the social worker or probation officer say if they knew that we were spending five days with an old man (69) who thinks he is successfully hiding his marajuana from his grandchildren? Certainly as a one-time thing they would forgive.

No one would yank our license and take Gary away to live somewhere else. Would they refuse permission for him to come next year? Would they say yes but tell me not to let my father drive with the kids in the vehicle?

That seems an entirely reasonable limit. It is one that I would like to enforce myself. The only problem is that it would require acknowledging that he is using. I don't know how to deal with that level of confrontation with my father. I do try to keep the kids out of the car, but no else seems to think it so terrible if he is just driving them to the lake.

We laugh at how scary it is to be in the car, how fast he takes the turns but no one seems to seriously believe the kids are in danger. He never SEEMS high when he takes the kids. Roland is almost as cautious as I am

I am agreeing to drive the kids as often as possible. I am very conscious of being bribed. He has built (paid to have built) these two lovely cottages on this secluded, beautiful piece of land. He has paid for us to get here at the same time as my sister.

All I need to do is ignore a little pot.


  1. Thanks for all the updates! I have been wondering how things were going. Don't know what to say about the pot thing.
    I think you are an amazing mom to have noticed Gary's discomfort and to have rescued him. I think in the long run, emotionally, it is a good thing. Hope you are having a lot of fun!

  2. It's okay; he's the only dad you've got. You're smart to be vigilant, but I'm glad you're there.

  3. Dealing with the absolute reality of it, I have always prefered dealing with the potheads over the drunks. They are not belligerent, more mellow, easier to get a long with, non-violent and all you have to do to sober them up is feed them. They mostly drive better high than straight, well I always did! Generally speaking they are laid back and easy going, it's the nature of the drug. The long term effects are just as deadly as alcholism, you're just more pleasant as you destroy mind and body! And, of course, there's the illegial part.

  4. Yup I would make sure to do the driving as much as possible. Sounds like a good plan. My dad is older than that and drinking heavily. I won't let him drive me anywhere when he drinks, but he did when we were kids. I guess God protected us...


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