Monday, November 19, 2007

Evan Came By

Evan dropped by today. He doesn't have classes, but he still has to go to work and laundry to catch on.

He is just a college student, you know? He is working in his classes, having trouble with one room (suite) mate, getting along with others. He has a job, is thinking about his future, changing his major. (Maybe he will blog about it. Since he has been blogging I hate to write about anything he might want to write about.)

The point is that he is doing well and looks good.

I am really so proud of all three of the boys. It is good for me to see them and talk to them.

I really believe that we did the right thing with Frankie. I think that the best thing we did for him was allowing him to bring his desire to be a girl out in the open. We helped take away the shame so that he could express it and explore it.* I think that was a good thing. And I think that he really needs a sort of environment that we cannot provide him. I am glad that he left without rancor. It was all very civilized.

And yet still it drained me emotionally in a way I cannot explain even to myself. It has left Brian cured of any desire to have a younger brother and genuinely appreciative of a quiet and calm house. Though any of us might be feel differently if there were an actual youth in question, right now none of us are wanting for there to be a youth who needs us. (I am closest in wanting to want it, so to speak.)

So I feel good about what we did, and yet I don't feel "up to" doing it again. I can't quite explain it.

But it does me good to see Evan.

He, David and Carl are all such amazing young men. I am truly privileged to be part of their lives.


  1. And they are blessed to have you. Nice how it worked out that way? Benefiting all of you.

  2. I recently started reading your blog and was so intrigued by your stories that I started way back at the beginning and read every single post this weekend! Thank you for sharing your life with us. My family intends to do foster care when our daughter heads off to kindergarten. While we hope to only do little kids for now, your experiences with teens is nice to hear about.

    If I may be so bold as to make a request? I read blogs via Bloglines, since I track over 50 (over 100 perhaps?) daily. Currently, your blog is set to only send the first few lines of each post, which means I have to click a link to read each post. I don't have the time to do this with every blog I read so I rarely read ones like that. Would you be so kind as to allow your blog to send the full entries? You can change it under settings: site feed. Thank you!

  3. I am feeling like I don't want anymore for a while now too. As soon as I got home from dropping off Petri I put away ALL of the baby stuff.


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