Monday, July 13, 2009

Conversation with Nephew

I called my sister's cell phone. Nephew answered it. I woke him up, cause he is a teenager and sleeps all day. Sis is at the house doing inventory and may be there all day..

...and my brother in law is with her. He will be home for 2 weeks.

I was hoping for something different, but there it is.

I asked Nephew how stressful it was to have his Dad back. He said a lot. He seemed sort of wary, wondering if I was going to lecture him. He asked if we were going to the cottages and then said that maybe he would still get to fly out on his own. "Probably not though, but I want to." I didn't respond to that because I don't think the authorities would allow him to and I we don't want to be responsible for him here.

So I asked him if he could keep himself safe ("yeah") and if he was seeing his therapist soon ("I don't know"). I said I hoped it was soon because I thought he probably needed someone to talk to ("Yeah").

Then I told him that I hoped he knew that we all believed in the man he could grow up to be. "I have confidence in you, Nephew. You can do this."

"Yeah, I know" he said, sounding in that teenager tone that sounds like "yeah, whatever" but is cover for "thank you." (BTW, "Yeah, I guess so" is often teenager for "would you really? that would be SO GREAT. Sadly it is not cool for me to appreciate you, but yes, I would like you to do that.")

I finished off say, "Okay, well, work hard, climb mountains, be great!"

He laughed and said, "Bye Aunt Yondalla."

"Bye Nephew."


Meanwhile, I am hoping that my BIL is able to cope with this in a non-abusive manner. I have my doubts. I don't think he is capable of forgiving, even if he combines that with being stern. I'm afraid that the best he may be able to accomplish will be ignoring Nephew, shunning him. I'm afraid that that will not be much better, if it is better at all. I don't know what will happen, but I am nervous.

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