Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Another thing I am not doing (updated)

I am not worrying about the fact that Gary hasn't called his PO in weeks, perhaps months. He is supposed to call every Tuesday. She has been wanting to get him off supervised probation for a year, but it is only recently that it has seemed possible. She sent him a message through his social worker saying that he needed to send in his court fees so she could process him. He did some weeding for us to earn the $20. Roland wrote the check, gave him an envelop and stamp, and we think he probably mailed it in.

He's nervous though because he got two D's. That is a probation violation. That means that he PO could make him spend time in the detention center. She probably won't.


She would certainly have a conversation with him about it, and she absolutely wouldn't request that he be released from supervised probation when he is not currently in compliance with his probation conditions.

Now I am not worried about this is the sense that I have any anxiety about it. I am however very curious about it. Periodically I can't resist asking him if he has called. I really want to know what is going to happen. When he tells me he hasn't called I feel a disappointment similar to finding out that the sequel to the book I just read hasn't come out yet.

Does that sound heartless? I don't mean for it to. I hope for his sake that he doesn't have to spend a few days in detention. I know he would hate it. I would hate it for him. If he went I would be very sad for him. I won't be sad if he stays on probation. Though I don't think he needs or deserves to still be on probation, I do find it convenient. This whole, he has to be home by 8:00pm thing is really convenient for me.

It is one of the ways my parenting has changed over the years. When we started this 9 years ago I would have thought that making sure he called and informed the PO of everything was my job. Now I know it is his, and I am just curious as to how it is all going to turn out.

I'll let you know when I do, of course.

Update: He overheard me asking Roland about it, and asked for help. He had never addressed an envelop before. Now he has and his check and a copy of his grades are on their way to his PO.

He says that if the PO reports his grades to the judge, the judge could sentence him to 180 days in detention, although he would hope he would only get 30 days. Of course he really hopes the PO doesn't violate his probation.


  1. It is so hard to sometimes just let them fully experience the results of their own decisions!!!
    Hang in there.

  2. It is hard to let kids reap the fruits of what they have sown. I am mean, I think a few days in detention would be really good for him and help him remember how very good he has it.

  3. Gotta love natural consequences with/for teens.


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