Ann's Story Part 4: One Doctory, Two Moms

Ann went home for Christmas at Mandy's. Though no fist fights broke out, Ann was quarrelsome and defiant. The agecny hires a child psychiatrist to come into the office and see all the kids who are on medication. We took Ann in and had a visit that included Mandy.

December 31, 2002

I wanted to tell you that I was disappointed with how the meeting with Dr. N went. I am copying this to K. [other social worker who was there], she may have had different impressions.

Mandy was there first, as she had just had an appointment with J. Before we got into the room, Mandy was already telling him how awful Ann had been behaving. Mandy and Dr. N spoke about Ann as though she was not there. I kept quiet, but it was bothering me that no one was addressing Ann at all. Finally Ann said, "It is not like I am not here." Dr. Nielsen and Mandy both told her that they knew that she was there and they were trying to help her. When “Hubby” and I finally mentioned how wonderful Ann had been at our house it was only used against her "we know that you can make good choices." Dr N told Ann that if she could not behave in ways appropriate to a family then she should spend time in a hospital. He changed her medication to a higher dose.

It was just a horrible experience. Ann had just spent two weeks being good only to have to listen to someone describe her as a little demon and be threatened with institutionalization.

I do understand that Ann is still on her good behavior here. We are still the refuge, not the home and Ann is not reactive to us. But if she is able to be cooperative here for 2 weeks, shouldn't that have meant that she does not need more drugs? Maybe.

I do not want to be competitive with Mandy. I know that she believes that Ann's behavior at her house is the "real Ann" and I am dealing with an illusion. She knows Ann best and I do not feel comfortable with contradicting her...especially in front of Ann. On the other hand I do not think that the way that Ann has been at Mandy's is the real Ann. Well, that's not quite right. I think that Ann deserves for us not to assume that it is. She deserves a second chance and that means being rewarded for her behavior here.

So forgive me for going on and on...and had to vent.

Part Five