Those funny, funny student reporters

Yesterday the student newspaper came out. You know, on April 1st.

In case you are curious about the important news in my part of the world:

The governor's wife held a press conference and confirmed that she was a lesbian. She apologized for putting her husband through a sham of a marriage, but it was the only way she could realize her dream of being married to an important political figure.

The students of the math department worked out the last digits of pi and proved the existence of G-d when doing so. Students were shocked that it was not the religion professor as had been commonly believed.

The campus police are no longer issuing tickets. Instead they are simply burning the vehicles.

And...my personal favorite... a group of Christian employees are suing the school bus company over its "rapture clause" which states that employees who have a more than 50% chance of being raptured will be fired. The employees argue that it is unfair discrimination. The manager of the bus company insists that it is necessary for the safety of students riding the bus. "We grant that the students left in the bus will be kids who didn't get raptured, but the bus company regards all the children as equally worthy of protection."

**Details of some stories have been changed**