Letter to Ann's social worker
December 13, 2002
Ann did a lot of crying last night, and I did a lot of comforting. She called Mandy and spoke to her for about half an hour. She did some crying on the phone, but Mandy also told her a funny story about the baby taking off her clothes and diaper and soiling the crib which made her laugh.
She told me that she missed her mommy (she refered to Mandy as "mommy" all evening) and that seemed to lead into telling me about how she was separated from her brother when she was four because she poked him with a pencil. I am thinking now that she was seeing a pattern where she looses people because of bad, but not very bad, things that she does.
After we talked for a while she told me that she liked being here, but missed her mommy so much. I explained that everyone was trying to find the right balance for her, and that she needed to be part of figuring that out. What we were thinking was that she needed time to be with her mommy, and she needed time being here where it was less stressful. At one point I characterized it as time at home and "breaks" here, but I did keep stressing that no one knew yet what the right balance was. I asked her if she thought that something like that was a good idea, time in both homes. She agreed that it was. I told her that her mommy would always be her mommy and I would always be her aunt. She hugged me and said, "My mommy is my mommy, and you are my auntie." She was able to go to sleep right after that (about 10pm).
She seemed okay this morning. We agreed that she would sleep in until 7:30 and that she would get up quickly so we could leave at 8:00. She did.
We are supposed to go to Mandy’s house Saturday at 7:00pm to pick up more stuff.
Reflections April 2008
Ann was 12 1/2 at this time. She normally seemed her age. Had known her for a couple of years and this was the first time she had called Mandy "mommy" instead of "mom."
She really was torn.