Monday, March 05, 2007

Can you keep a secret?

Hubby and I talked about Miss E. Neither of us know Marsha, but we are both concerned with Miss E's abiltiy to manage in a home with 5 children ages 13 and under. Perhaps Marsha will be able to meet everyone's needs. Maybe the sibling group is just temporary.

But I have the what-if's running through my head.

So Hubby and I have agreed.

If she blows out of there suddenly, we will take her as a temporary. It has happened before. It was last April that she was on Mandy's lawn refusing to go back in. She came here for just under two weeks then. So if she has a blow out there, Hubby and I have agreed in advance that we will take her on an emergency basis.

This is the beginning of March, she finishes the semester at the end of June. That's three months. If she makes it half way through, to six weeks or less, we will take her. We think we and the boys can handle what we know she is capable of dishing out for that long. There's another six weeks until she turns 18* and we will just take it one day at a time. Our goal will be to keep her here until she is finished with school.

Now hopefully this isn't going to happen. I hope she manages to stay where she is until her birthday. We will offer her respite here if that will help. I won't tell her that we are willing to do anything more because she always thinks it will be easier at the next place and it never is. I will do everything I can to support this placement.

But if she blows, we will take her.

I feel good having a plan. I don't know if I should tell the case worker, at least not yet. But I am glad that Hubby agreed.

*Miss E may stay until in care until after she finishes high school. She will be leaving on her birthday by her own choice.


  1. Sounds like a good plan and I won't tell her!

  2. I won't tell either. I know I always feel better when Hubby and I are in agreement before the situations arise.

    Would telling the case worker keep them from trying as hard to make her current situation work? In other words if they know they have a back up would they put as much into resolving problems or would they just see it as time to move on to the next home?

  3. I'm glad you're on the same page about it - it seems like Miss E. has been on your mind a lot lately, perhaps you've got a sixth sense about her being about to blow out.

    Also, I'm really happy for Miss E., happy that you'll do whatever you can to not let her mess this up :-)

  4. Bacchus, The case worker would still try to keep it together. It is not that I think she shouldn't know -- it is more that I feel like we should just let the decision settle so that we are more comfortable with it. We've decided, but I don't really want the social worker expressing gratitude.

    Also I think I am a little superstitious. I feel like if I tell her, I'm tempting fate. Or at least expressing a lack of confidence in the current placement.

    My gut tells me, Amanda, that if this sibling group is temporary and she only has to deal with two much younger kids, she will stick there as well as anywhere. With Five? Well either it will be a complete disaster or maybe, just maybe, it will mean that there is enough distraction going on that she feels left alone -- which would be a good thing.

    I don't think she is about to blow anytime soon, but this is her third home this school year.

    My biggest reservation about having her live with me is knowing that I would loose what I have with her now. I'll do it though, if it means she would end up leaving the district otherwise.


Comments will be open for a little while, then I will be shutting them off. The blog will stay, but I do not want either to moderate comments or leave the blog available to spammers.