Friday, March 09, 2007

Reconsidering Miss E's placement

As you know, I've been just a little anxious about whether Miss E would stick where she is. She hasn't stuck anywhere else. Leaving has been entirely her decision, although when the case worker agrees to it is typically after the foster mother has admitted defeat.

This new placement worried me because there are younger children. Miss E actually has a pretty good reputation with younger children. She has friends and a sister who have babies and she seems to get along with them fine. I wasn't worried that Miss E would hurt the little ones. I did worry that she would fight with the 13 year old, but I mostly worried that the parents would not be willing to deal with her verbal abuse and general toxic attitude when they also had to be able to take care of young children.

Now, a blow out could still happen. Miss E is in the home-stretch before she turns 18 and that is a pretty volatile time. I am still glad that Hubby and I talked and agreed between us regarding what we could handle and what we couldn't.

On the other hand, I have realized that her attitude is different this time. With the last two placements she went in complaining to me that she had to be there. She was quite clear that she did not want to have to live in a family at all. If she could have her way she would just live in the teen shelter. This time however she is saying nice things. She has said that Marsha is "okay" and "Pretty laid back. She keeps a nice house and doesn't constantly nag everyone to take off their shoes and stuff."

This time around Miss E seems to be accepting that this is the best option. She is not rebelling against it. I have had to wake her up (by calling her cell phone) every day since she moved and she has been late to school every day but one. She has mostly wanted to spend our car ride dozing, mumbling answers to my cheerfully posed questions. However, what she does say is positive about the home. The only conversation she has initiated all week has been about how Evan got into night school because she thinks that she might like to do that too.

So I'm feeling less worried than I was before. Things could go south, but right now she is as stable as she gets. I'm glad I have a plan, but I don't think I will need it.

I can't help but feel sad and irritated for this young woman though. It is difficult to accept that she is determined to leave care on her birthday, even though she won't be done with high school.

I will accept it though. There is not, after all, anything I can do about it.

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