Friday, November 14, 2008

So I asked him

Having obsessed over it to the extent that even I was tired of me, and having enough people ask me why the heck I wasn't asking Gary, I asked Gary.

I told him that I knew that the agency had supported some foster parents taking legal guardianship and that I didn't know if they would in our case, but I wanted to know that was something he would like us to look into. He nodded enthusastically and then said, "Oh cool! Out of foster care! Hey, that would mean that I could go to someone's house and their parents wouldn't have to have a background check, right?" I said that it would. "And when there is some paper that has to be signed we wouldn't have to fax it everyone." "Right." "Cool!"

I assured him that it wouldn't mean that anything would change legally or otherwise about his relationship with his Dad. His dad would still be is father and if he was in a position to parent him he could go to the judge and ask to have our guardianship recinded and it would be up to the judge. I told him that if his father was opposed to it we just wouldn't do it. He wasn't sure what his father would do, except that he would probably either ignore it and do nothing or he would fight it.

He is concerned that he might not qualify for the job services program and though they can be a pain, they are helping him get a job. I assured him that there was no hurry and if it was better for him not to pursue it until after he completed the job services program that wouldn't be a problem. Nothing was going to happen quickly anyway.

He remained excited about it, and then he said he was getting a headache and didn't know why. I suggested that maybe he take Tylenol and go to bed. He agreed.

So we will see what happens next.


  1. Suspicious headache. His head is going to explode.

  2. Anonymous1:16 AM

    good luck with everything that'll happen next. i know (from the many posts on the topic!) that this is a complex issue and that you've been thinking it to BITS, sometimes needing to write out your thoughts to keep them from being stuck in your head and making you go crazy. i hope things move forward in a positive way, with Gary now being involved!

    -- Silph

  3. Good luck to you all! I know how carefully you are thinking thru all the angles on this. Won't it be kind of funny if it comes down to Gary wanting to do it because it will be easier to get papers signed and go to a friends house? LOL I know maybe that shouldn't be funny but it does make me smile; maybe because I often find my kid's motivators are often those small things as well.

  4. I think it is interesting that he got a headache. As much as he feels on the surface about this being a great idea, the worry of the ramifications of doing this is still there.


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