Sunday, August 31, 2008

Getting some 'tude

He rolled his eyes at me today. He wanted to make Saturday his regular cooking day and I said no, that my experience in the past was that kids tend to get busy on weekends and it doesn't work out. I needed him to pick a weekday.

He rolled his eyes, looked at me like I was stoopid, and said, "okay, Thuuurrrsday."

I take all this as healthy -- especially if he goes from just showing annoyance to actually expressing it. He told me before that he had a schedule all worked out for himself -- when to go to the Y, when to do homework. If he presents his case at all, I'll let him give Saturdays a try. I think it will turn out to be less convenient that he thinks, but I would be willing to give it a shot.

I mentioned it to Roland and he said that he had also noticed the defiance just under the surface. He grinned. It isn't that we like making him angry, but we are both happy to see that there is some spirit in there. It means he is feeling safer.
At his "graduation" from his group home all the boys there got to express their hopes and fears for him. Several of the boys talked about fearing that he would have a conflict with an authority figure and not deal with it, just hide in his room or something. He hasn't gone off and hid in his room. He is playing a puzzle game on the computer and when I asked about it he showed me, smiling as he talked. So he is talking to me.

My theory has always been that at some point the kids have to find out two things: what are you like when you are really angry and will you toss them away if they are bad. I think he knows that he has seen me at my worst -- although it wasn't directed at him. He hasn't broken any rules or done something he knows will piss me off. Not yet anyway. I predict that the worst he will do, for a while, is be non-compliant with my stupid request that he check in every couple of hours even when he has not changed locations.

So, that thing he did today, rolling his eyes and throwing me that teenager to idiotic parent look? That is something that could get on my nerves after a while. Today though I had to hide my grin. Cause this perfect teenager thing was beginning to get freakish.


  1. We call that head tilt, eye roll, the "Mom Salute" at our house! Good for all of you, as you grow into being a new family.

  2. Good for him and you guys. The veneer is wearing off. He sounds like a terrific kid and he has found a great family to be in.


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