Friday, January 27, 2006

Real family

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Evan lost cousin in a car accident last weekend.

He has spent most of this week with extended family. They are technically not related. When Evan was small his mother married into this family. She had Evan's younger sister (now fourteen) before the marriage broke up. None of this history matters to them. Evan is one of theirs.

After Evan had been here about a month Evan's grandmother said she would like to drop by and give me some extra onions. Evan tried to take them from her on the porch, but I knew why she was there. I invited her in and made Evan give her a tour of the house. We chatted in the kitchen for half an hour.

This past week he has met people for the first time who have introduced themselves as cousins, aunts and uncles. People have told him that if he ever decides to move to (insert town here) he must call them. They will give him a place to stay and help him find a job.

About 10 days ago his biological mother called him. She thinks she is a good mother because she never hit or abandoned her kids. When she was cooking meth in the kitchen years ago she made it a fun family science project. Of course there is that thing where her boyfriend beat Evan -- but Evan just kept insisting on going to that gay group so what do you expect? She blames Evan for her incarceration, for being separated from her daughters. If he had kept his bruises hidden everything would have been fine. She rarely calls, and when she does it never goes well. We over-heard him telling her mulitiple times that he was sorry. After the call he came to tell me that she had gone on and on about how in the end family is all you have. Then she asked him to send her money. He says he knows he is being manipulated, but he was not certain what he wanted to do.

You know, she is right -- in the end family is all you have. What she doesn't understand is who Evan's real family is.

Next: Back from the memorial

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