Friday, September 11, 2009

So Gary...

His dad called him a while ago, sometime after the hearing, but he doesn't really remember exactly when. Gary didn't answer the phone and his dad didn't leave a message. Gary just told me that yesterday, as we sat waiting for his turn to be x-rayed.

Oh, wait, did I blog that yet? Gary decided to quit the gym where he has been doing MMA for ages (where "ages" are measured in months). Over the summer one of his previous teachers had been coming to the gym and working out with him. He can't come anymore and Gary decided that the regular guy doesn't have anything to teach him. He looked around for a different dojo, knowing that there was no other within a reasonable range that had a reputation nearly as good as the one he was quitting. He found one to try though. I took him on Tuesday. He got his arm/shoulder twisted pretty bad. He didn't say anything until Thursday when he texted me and said that his shoulder really hurt and he thought he should see the doctor. Since Gary NEVER says stuff like that, I just dropped everything and picked him up. We spent a total of three hours waiting to be "worked in," waiting for x-rays, etc. It looks like nothing was broken, but he has an appointment with the regular physician on Monday.

Anyway, he told me his dad called and that he didn't answer and he didn't know what his dad wanted to talk about.

In the most casual voice I could manage I said something like, "Huh, I wonder what he wanted."

Inside I was thinking things like, "Did he get the notice about the TPR proceedings? Did he want to talk about that? If he did, what did he want to say? Did he want to tell Gary that he was going to sign, or that he was not going to sign? Did he want to know what Gary thought about all this? I wonder if the notification said anything about adoption, or if it was just about TPR? Is he happy, or sad, or angry?"

I just kept taking deep, slow breaths and reminding myself that Gary is entirely within his rights to take or not take his father's calls. I really do believe if the TPR proceedings result in Will showing a renewed interest in his son, that would be a good outcome. I believe that if he fights the TPR he will win. I certainly think he should win. The question is really whether he just decides to let go or fight.

I know that part of Gary wants him to fight. Gary won't acknowledge that because he doesn't think it will happen, but I know he wants it.

So I was disappointed that Gary hadn't taken he call, because I want to know what is going on. I'll just have to get over that though.

The state worker hasn't told me anything. I don't know if either or both of his parents have been served. I don't know if the social worker has talked to them or what they have said. They only message I have had from the state worker is a brief email telling me that he sent in the receipt for the computer and I should be getting a reimbursement check soon.

The agency worker came for the monthly visit. Gary wanted her to meet him at his school at the end of the day to talk to the counselor about graduating early. Not surprisingly, it turns out that Gary cannot graduate from the arts charter school early. He can try to talk to the people at Our Small Town High, but it isn't easy to graduate early from there either. His best best is to take the 6 units he will need after this school year from one of the on-line schools. The school counselor at the Arts Charter is going to see if she can rearrange his schedule so that he can drop an elective and have a free period. If she can, then we will sign him up for a self-paced on-line class which he will do at the school in her office on his computer.

We are going to take it one course at a time. If he keeps finishing courses, then we will keep signing him up and he can graduate from the on-line school. If he doesn't, then next year he will go to Our Town High part time and either work or take classes from the community college.

While she was here I told her about what happened at the court. She had been on vacation, and her supervisor (Gary's previous agency worker) had gone instead. That the case plan goal had been changed to "termination and adoption" was news to her.


And this post is rambling and disconnected, but then, so is my life.

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