Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A rocky start to my day (update)

So, last night the dog was in the back yard, barking himself silly. It was 12:30am. I got up, called him in, went back to bed, and realized I was now wide awake.

So I cleaned the kitchen, which I should have done before I went to bed, but was too tired. Set up three Lexulous games, taking my time with the first move and even planning out the best possible second move, given the current state of the board. Then it was 1:30am, and I was still awake. Of course staring at a lighted computer screen is a bad way to get sleepy, so I got my Kindle and read for a while and finally crawled back into bed after 2.

Then the dog went nuts at 6:00 when I intended to get up. Roland was in the shower, so I got up, called the dog in and decided to get just a little bit more sleep. That's the beauty of having teenagers who get themselves ready in the morning. They can do it while you sleep.

I woke up at 9:30.

Okay, so a late start, but at least I am rested, right? Of course there is no milk in the house. There WAS milk in the house before I went to bed, but that is the ugliness of living with three full-sized male persons.

I made tea, sat at my computer, played some Lexulous and told myself I must get ready.

And then I got an email from the supervisor of social workers (Gary's worker is on vacation) saying that she thought the agency should rent Gary a guitar, not buy one. I sighed thinking I am going to have to call every music rental place in two counties (fortunately there are only so many stores even if they have separate locations) so that I can demonstrate to her that no one rents guitars. This is one of the problems of having young(ish) social workers who have never had kids in band. She signs off saying, "I'll see you in court this afternoon."

WHAT??? COURT IS TOMORROW. I know it is tomorrow. I told Roland that it was tomorrow, like 3 times. Last night he got on the school computer system and requested a half day sub, for Thursday. I checked the calendar.


I seem to do this a lot.

At least I had several hours warning.

I texted Roland who texted back that he probably couldn't make it, but would see.

I dressed. I realized I wanted to say a little prayer of thanks for being prompted to wash my hair last night even though I thought,"I should wait until tomorrow so it will be clean on Thursday." My second thought though was that I don't believe that there is any supernatural being who prompts people to wash their hair, so that's silly.

I called the three main rental places. None of them rent guitars, but they sell student ones started about $200.

And since I was on a roll, I did a work thing that took about 15 minutes. It's not done, just not in my (figurative) court anymore.

And now I need to find something to eat.

And then wait until it is time to go to the permanency hearing, while trying not to dwell on it. Because, you know, I'm not the least bit nervous that Will is going to be there and get worked up when he hears that we have said that we are interested in adopting Gary if Gary should be in a position to need to be adopted. Everything that I know abut Will indicates that his reaction will be something like, "I want to relinquish my rights so I don't have to pay child support that I can't afford and shouldn't have to pay anyway, but I'll be damned if I will let someone else take MY KID."

And that, by the way, makes total psychological sense to me.

I just prefer that all that happens when I am not around, you know? If he decides that he wants to keep his son, child support payments and all, I'm cool. I am not in the business of taking kids away from their parents.

Ah, but there, you see, my brain is begin to spin with what might happen, and might not happen, and how I will feel and what I will want to do in every possible situation. I've been able to put that off because I thought court was on Thursday.

So maybe it is good that I thought that?

I just wish Roland knew the right day and got THIS afternoon off.

Update: court is (and was always) scheduled an hour later than I thought. Once again, it was on the calendar right, I just was too ...whatever... to read. Anyway, the hearing is supposed to start at the end of Roland's students' day, so he is going to see if he can leave just a bit early and get there. I hope so.


  1. Just reading that makes me a little stressed and edgy. I hope things go better than you expect. But if I were you, I'd be at least relieved to have thought through potential less-good outcomes. And at least you found out about the mixup in time to fix it!

  2. I will send a request to the Supernatural Being of Clean Hair and ask that she request the Supernatural Being of Child Advocacy (as well as the Supernatural Being of Motherissues) to sit with you this afternoon.

    I will also be there in a completely natural but supportive way. Keep calm, everything will be okay.

  3. I'm sorry for the stress but your post makes me feel better because I do this sort of thing on a regular basis. So now I feel totally normal, like everyone else is just as dingy as I am. Or something like that. I hope it goes calmly.


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