Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Hearing Scheduled

The termination hearing is scheduled for two months from now.

Gary still doesn't want to go and doesn't see why he should make any effort to communicate with the court. Clearly, he says, it wouldn't have gone this far if he wasn't okay with it. I've told him that I will make sure he has a meeting with his GAL so that he will be represented.

Thinking about it makes my stomach hurt. I want his father to fight for him. I imagine scenes one would expect in an after-school TV special. In this case all fighting for him means is SHOWING UP. I think I am most afraid that his father will have just not bothered to respond.

I make up stories to myself to explain that and keep it in a positive light. I imagine that his dad has decided that he can't fight for him. He can't ever bring Gary home. I understand that. I don't like it, but his father has to make decisions that are best for all his children. And I don't think he wants to let Gary go. So I imagine him just putting off dealing with it, not being able to think about it. Maybe tomorrow.

But I don't know. Maybe he has responded. Maybe he is going to fight. Maybe he has signed forms.

I don't know.

I want to adopt him, but I cannot be happy about this.

My best information regarding his mother is that they can't find her. She's had no contact with him for a decade. My heart breaks less over that one. [Added: I mean about her losing her rights now. It feels like the court will only be acknowledging something that already happened long ago. It is more than that with his father.]


  1. I can't imagine being Gary, how it must feel. He is lucky to have you, but he would be more lucky if things had worked out with his birth family. I know you won't take that wrong, I think the same thing about my little man. Even if it meant not having him I wish he could have stayed home.
    Happy Holidays!

  2. No, I understand. I think we agree about these things.

    I love having him in my life, and if it were in my power to make it so that he never needed us, I would.

    I still hope his father chooses to be part of his life.

  3. Sometimes, fostering sucks. I've been thinking about this this week; Maria's family has been making life difficult for her siblings (and her, but she's so young she doesn't know the difference). And while I social work the reasons why they do what they do, it still comes down to 'really?? REALLY?? That's the best you can do for your child?'.

    At least fostering means your life will never be boring.


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