tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post773708023566472423..comments2023-09-23T02:16:11.746-06:00Comments on Thoughts from a Foster Family: "Foster Aunt" not "Foster Mom"Yondallahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-76276684921304171332007-02-15T11:28:00.000-07:002007-02-15T11:28:00.000-07:00We tell our kids to call us by our first names, or...We tell our kids to call us by our first names, or they have the option to call us "Abba" and "Eema" which are the Hebrew words for father and mother. So far, all our kids have opted to use first names.<BR/><BR/>"Danielle" has experimented with calling <I>me</I> mom sometimes when she's fooling around. I told her not to call me that, as I think it's disrespectful to her mom, and because she does it to hurt FosterEema. FosterEema is definitely the <I>femme</I> of the two of us, and she would enjoy that title much more than I.FosterAbbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11431773317761777407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-42629480828987530172007-02-15T08:03:00.000-07:002007-02-15T08:03:00.000-07:00I have only had one placement who was old enough t...I have only had one placement who was old enough to call me anything, and she began calling me mom very quickly - like the morning after she was dropped off at our house. We introduced ourselves by first name and I reminded her of my first name for a few days, but she kept going with mom, and I didn't have the heart to insist she call me Amanda. It's weird because there aren't any other kids in our house and Jacob and I definitely didn't encourage it, but it still happened.<BR/><BR/>It was only a big deal when she called me that in front of biomom a couple of times - that made me cringe.<BR/><BR/>My other placement was an infant, and we did refer to ourselves as his mom and dad. My rationale for that was that they are really just learning the concept of mom and dad and they don't attach it to specific people so I didn't see the harm in it. <BR/><BR/>I would never ask or tell a kid to call me mom though. In our preservice they just kind of told us to go with whatever the kid tended to do.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08954918065641135178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-72017261181848604362007-02-15T07:14:00.000-07:002007-02-15T07:14:00.000-07:00For older kids, who have a strong relationship wit...For older kids, who have a strong relationship with their parents - it might help them to feel like they aren't betraying their parents by calling you by a different name. But younger children I think generally feel more comfortable going with 'mom' and 'dad', especially if there are other kids in the house calling you that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-28689347401455029522007-02-14T22:38:00.000-07:002007-02-14T22:38:00.000-07:00I always introduce myself as "Baggage". My young g...I always introduce myself as "Baggage". My young guys are calling me Mom, and the oldest calls me "Baggage". If she is talking to someone else about me, she might say "my foster mom" and "my real mom" referring to her bio mom. I'm not sure if I like the "mom" thing, but I'm not sure what other title we could go by. I think younger kids just identify with the concept of parents as people who are supposed to take care of you, even if their bios didn't. I know that if I was a mom who had kids in foster care, it would hurt me to hear my kids call someone else mom. Well maybe. It doesn't hurt me that Bug has another mom. Hmm. I don't know.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-4541917367585863422007-02-14T19:39:00.000-07:002007-02-14T19:39:00.000-07:00I've found that very young children in a foster ho...I've found that very young children in a foster home will call the adults "mom" and "dad" regardless of how the adults identify themselves to the children (especially if there are bios in the home calling mom "mom" and dad "dad.") Older children usually prefer not to call foster parents "mom" and "dad," but sometimes refer to them that way for convenience. I agree with you though that it would be helpful for the practice to change, for the children to somehow conceptualize it as like being in an extended day care-like situation, or, as you did with Evan, like staying with an aunt.processhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11896815941859100568noreply@blogger.com