tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post6884417170152068066..comments2023-09-23T02:16:11.746-06:00Comments on Thoughts from a Foster Family: Can't WriteYondallahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-17938186005886410512008-08-24T16:46:00.000-06:002008-08-24T16:46:00.000-06:00Money is such a hot topic in any marriage. I am ho...Money is such a hot topic in any marriage. I am hoping you guys can weather this without too much pain for either of you. If you decide you can no longer afford bath wash, please warn me if we ever get a chance to meet in real life.Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15530972001172936718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-59940947501959504262008-08-24T15:08:00.000-06:002008-08-24T15:08:00.000-06:00I"m totally into the idea of allowances for adults...I"m totally into the idea of allowances for adults (or spending money--my DH couldn't stand the word allowance for the first years we did this. Now he doesn't care.). The one thing I rec'd is that you BOTH get the EXACT same amount. So what if you don't actually NEED it. You deserve the same stuff he does. And I'll almost guarantee you that if you don't have the spending money you'll end up mad at him at some point for spending frivolously while you can't. (For us, it was just little things like getting candy bars that set me off. That was during the first year of it. And when we moved to us both having spending money.) It might be best to simply pick a number and start with it. Then after a few months (or weeks), visit it. Is it enough? Too much? Too little? What comes out of spending money. There can be big battles over the latter, try to keep it civilized and come up with things that both people can agree on and things you have to compromise.AnnMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05505967972774910106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-64875417553295562492008-08-24T10:06:00.000-06:002008-08-24T10:06:00.000-06:00This all sounds SO familiar to me. I think my husb...This all sounds SO familiar to me. I think my husband and I have the same kind of different feelings about money/frugality. I know it isn't related to foster care, but I'm really glad you're blogging about it -it's reassuring to hear about others grappling with the same issues and feelings.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-31959162567328078962008-08-24T08:24:00.000-06:002008-08-24T08:24:00.000-06:00I have his brain applied to other things. It's ha...I have his brain applied to other things. It's hard to say, "You can do this better!" or "Hey, you've improved!" without me hearing, "Boy, you sure did suck last week. You should have changed six days ago... but you didn't, because you suck."<BR/><BR/>My budget has a line for Random Fun. It's seventy-five dollars a month that I don't usually spend, but I could. Everything from yarn to stress-shopping magnets to new sheets goes in there.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00362801327321637420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-81006106608222561172008-08-24T07:39:00.000-06:002008-08-24T07:39:00.000-06:00Money is emotion. All money is really is numbers o...Money is emotion. All money is really is numbers on paper. be it bills or cash. Just numbers. Yet everyone gets all worked up about it. <BR/><BR/>Do you have a CVS or Walgreens near you? If so you can get started on the "game" and get all your toiletries for almost free. That has helped us a lot. <BR/><BR/>I love being frugal. It's hard for me to believe that people just walk into stores and buy things, and yet I have some friends who feel just the opposite. See, all emotional, but still just numbers. :)Kerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235941490505824539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-34278551463800444812008-08-24T00:33:00.000-06:002008-08-24T00:33:00.000-06:00Well written. I think you really have a lot of in...Well written. I think you really have a lot of insight into both your own relationship to money and your husband's. It's great that you both are working on it!Emmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15453948129003575568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-7383285572959459992008-08-23T23:40:00.000-06:002008-08-23T23:40:00.000-06:00You know, so many people are in this boat. Frankly...You know, so many people are in this boat. Frankly, I am, too. I made a BIG financial mistake in July -- forgot to write down a nearly $600 check and then thought I had "extra" money and proceeded to overspend on fun things like going out to dinner and taking Slugger to the arcade and stuff. (Both are errors that are highly unusual for me.) <BR/><BR/>Things are so expensive now that it's easy to over-extend. I've never been a shopper or a spender, but I'm kind of like Roland and don't like to think about the specifics. Usually, I make sure I have enough to cover all bills, move a certain amount into savings, and then put the money I can SPEND in my wallet. I know how long it has to last me and, other than that, I don't worry about what I spend it on. Except for last month where an error in record-keeping made me think I had a lot more discretionary income than I actually did -- it usually works well.Maggiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06956114780055557451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-2783825166445932902008-08-23T22:04:00.000-06:002008-08-23T22:04:00.000-06:00If you're looking for a little bit of support/sens...If you're looking for a little bit of support/sense of community with this, you may want to check out the website www.simpleliving.net. The website generally is about frugality and prioritizing your spending. They have a great forum--there are a lot of people there who will have little monthly challenges, etc, and many who deal with reluctant spouses.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08879003957171322911noreply@blogger.com