tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post6582959418261768245..comments2023-09-23T02:16:11.746-06:00Comments on Thoughts from a Foster Family: Conversation on Photolistings ContinuesYondallahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-20179880401718950842008-07-27T18:54:00.000-06:002008-07-27T18:54:00.000-06:00I just had to comment. I called about a girl whose...I just had to comment. I called about a girl whose photolisting said that she wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up.<BR/><BR/>The SW asked if I had children or pets. When I said yes to both she told me this would not be a good fit. This little girl (8) has molested animals and children and killed a few small dogs.<BR/>What an accurate description, eh? :(Sighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10037053472753237906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-53113545650767669392008-07-25T08:12:00.000-06:002008-07-25T08:12:00.000-06:00I have enjoyed your blog as a silent lurker for a ...I have enjoyed your blog as a silent lurker for a while now. I am the adoptive parent of 4 children, 1 international, 1 DSS, 2 thru a private agency. My DSS adoption was supposed to be a sib group. I was a victim of the 'code' words and sadly the second sibling left our home after only 5 wks. I love her, I am still in frequent contact with her, but it was impossible to keep the other kids feeling and being safe with her level of needs. I wish that if the write about about her could not have been more honest that the social workers had been. Sadly, they weren't and we all experienced a very traumatic removal.Kirstyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05330391843918378114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-22843548320186795922008-07-25T08:10:00.000-06:002008-07-25T08:10:00.000-06:00By the way y'all. I'm leaving early tomorrow morni...By the way y'all. I'm leaving early tomorrow morning. The last time I put up a post about adoption reform there was a great deal of discussion. Feel free to converse, but please be respectful and if I'm not responding it is because I am off-line!Yondallahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-74275700779146618422008-07-25T08:08:00.000-06:002008-07-25T08:08:00.000-06:00Sassy, I did know about these rules or structures ...Sassy, <BR/>I did know about these rules or structures in Australia, but certainly not the lived experience of it.<BR/><BR/>I'm torn about putting babies into foster care instead of immediately with adoptive families. The positive side of that practice is that prospective adoptive families should rarely or ever go through the heartbreak an adoption they hoped for doesn't happen. It also provides sufficient time to be really certain that the mother and father want to place.<BR/><BR/>But I know there are down sides to it too, and I agree that one of them would be the repeated disruptions of attachment. Another potentially could be a patronizing attitude towards parents who have made up their minds.Yondallahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-78563649354250227022008-07-25T08:02:00.000-06:002008-07-25T08:02:00.000-06:00I just wanted to add (because I haven't said enoug...I just wanted to add (because I haven't said enough), that I think your version is the one that Ann's possible adoptive parents would *need* to read. I don't think it would be fair to them or Ann for it to say anything different. But that should be private information. <BR/><BR/>I find it really disturbing the way personal details are posted up under photos as advertisements for children. I don't know if the cost of that is worth it to place those children, but it seems very wrong to me.SassyCupcakeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06093736219562358428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-48970159486653471622008-07-25T07:52:00.001-06:002008-07-25T07:52:00.001-06:00Sorry for the novel. :/Sorry for the novel. :/SassyCupcakeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06093736219562358428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-43041318811502679922008-07-25T07:52:00.000-06:002008-07-25T07:52:00.000-06:00I couldn't work out if you were alluding to it or ...I couldn't work out if you were alluding to it or not, but Australia has no private adoption. All adoptions are done through the state and while birth families can choose, they choose from the state's selection, not the broader community.<BR/><BR/>As I've mentioned in my posts about the local infant adoption program in my state, the social workers are intensely clear that they are there for the birth families and the birth families only. Adoptive parents are an inconvenience to them and they are fully prepared to knock any family back that they don't particularly like. As a result there is a shortage of families for local adoption. <BR/><BR/>It might sound like a good idea and I do think it's great for the majority of birth families, but it means that if the birth parents know someone who they would like to adopt their baby it is almost impossible, if not illegal, to make it happen. <BR/><BR/>Also, while our adoptions are 'open' you are not allowed to exchange last names, addresses or phone numbers and must only meet at neutral prearranged meetings (up to 4 a year). That's hardly 'open' compared to the American system (as I've read about it).<BR/><BR/>Another difference is that in the US you can bring your adopted baby home from the hospital. In Australia the babies remain in foster care for 3 - 12 months before placement. The majority never go home with their parents and instead go straight to foster care until it's legal to place them. That's a long time for a baby, and I think that would be more traumatic for the baby too.SassyCupcakeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06093736219562358428noreply@blogger.com