tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post5787293814692200920..comments2023-09-23T02:16:11.746-06:00Comments on Thoughts from a Foster Family: Further thoughts on adoptionYondallahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-81942909886968796652007-12-19T13:41:00.000-07:002007-12-19T13:41:00.000-07:00AnnMarie,I think I may have got clearer in the mos...AnnMarie,<BR/><BR/>I think I may have got clearer in the most recent post.<BR/><BR/>I don't disagree with most of what you have said. I don't think that placing a child or adoption or adopting a child who has been place is unethical. Neither of those acts is wrong, and I can be done for all sorts of reasons. Most of the reasons why someone might do it I regard as none of my business.<BR/><BR/>What I am objecting to is the adoption industry. I object to agencies whose objective is persuading parents to place their children. I object to putting pregnant women in a position where they will feel that they are obligated to relinquish.<BR/><BR/>I want a system in which the people who work with the mothers to make certain that they have understood all their options and are not coerced. I want them to have enough time after the birt of the baby to confident in their choice.<BR/><BR/>And if a mother who has thought about it, knows her options and is not being coerced wants to place a baby, I support her right to do so. I will be as encouraging and supportive of that choice as I possibly can. I will not tell her that her reasons are not good enough. Her reasons are her reasons.<BR/><BR/>And the couple who adopts this freely placed baby -- they too are doing a good thing.Yondallahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-47832367270669738042007-12-19T13:30:00.000-07:002007-12-19T13:30:00.000-07:00I forgot one thing I'd wanted to mention: Some peo...I forgot one thing I'd wanted to mention: Some people simply do not want to be parents, or do not want to parent another child, but find themselves pregnant.AnnMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05505967972774910106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-62149664241452396752007-12-19T13:19:00.000-07:002007-12-19T13:19:00.000-07:00Perhaps I feel differently about this because I ad...Perhaps I feel differently about this because I adopted an infant. But I'm very glad that adoption of infants is available. I don't--and I don't think I had a problem before I adopted either--think it's such a bad thing that there are people who want to parent and people who don't or can't parent. And getting them together just, well, makes the world a better place.<BR/><BR/>Also, don't forget that while some bio parents choose adoption for financial reasons, many do it for other reasons. They weren't ready to be a parent, they don't want to be a single parent, they were surprised or in denial, etc. <BR/><BR/>I guess I also think it's a good thing when people realize they can't financially afford something. Whether that's a child or a material object doesn't matter to me. What matters is that they realized this and did something about it. <BR/><BR/>Well, and that they didn't have an abortion and allowed their child's life to also grace someone else's. I am very thankful that my daughter was simply born.<BR/><BR/>My life would be quite emptier if we hadn't adopted. And is it so wrong that we did not want to adopt from foster care, where we would have known from the start that we wouldn't have any chance of a fairly normal life? (Which we already aren't expecting, as we expect to become parents to our sister with FAS, one of the reasons we did not want to adopt a child coming in with known problems. and yes, in our neck of the woods, we were told it was virtually impossible to adopt a healthy infant or toddler and any child over the age of 5 would have problems if adoptable from foster care. We looked there first, in fact. Not to mention that we could have only done so if we accepted a legal risk placement as well.)AnnMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05505967972774910106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-69491982257062384452007-12-18T18:22:00.000-07:002007-12-18T18:22:00.000-07:00I don't think those ads on the adoption blogs are ...I don't think those ads on the adoption blogs are aimed at young pregnant women, I think they are aimed at potential adoptive couples. <BR/><BR/>They show couples that look like them. The ads depict a young, white, smiling teenager - an image that feeds into the stereotype; that just like that other couple who is just like you, you too can adopt a caucasian infant from a teen mom who is happy. The End.<BR/><BR/>But that's not the whole story, but it is an advertisement, not a more indepth look at all the complications of adoption.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16674601261652854298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-41771174316880669942007-12-18T18:05:00.000-07:002007-12-18T18:05:00.000-07:00Oooh, I just reread my comment and I wanted to cla...Oooh, I just reread my comment and I wanted to clarify.... <BR/>I don't think babies should have prices and that certainly isn't the way I think of them, but pricepoints seems the right terminology to use when we're talking about agencies.<BR/><BR/>I hope that's obvious, but you know, just in case.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08954918065641135178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-44200724420605809422007-12-18T18:04:00.000-07:002007-12-18T18:04:00.000-07:00This is what keeps me awake at night, Yondalla. Se...This is what keeps me awake at night, Yondalla. Seriously. I really don't think we would ever do anything besides an identified adoption, or one with an agency that is part of a social service network.<BR/><BR/>And if you need any other reason to hate domestic adoption, take a look at the "pricepoints" for different races of babies. <BR/><BR/>It really is nauseating. And I think most people are completely unaware of it.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08954918065641135178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-57208174610461291552007-12-18T11:24:00.000-07:002007-12-18T11:24:00.000-07:00I hadn't thought of it in the way you expressed it...I hadn't thought of it in the way you expressed it. We don't have that industry here. All adoptions in all situations here are done through social services (ie: the gov't), there are no private agencies making money through infant adoption.Sharihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04839171653095875542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-50229222156397676802007-12-18T08:46:00.000-07:002007-12-18T08:46:00.000-07:00And when I think of an industry that exists to per...<I>And when I think of an industry that exists to persuade her to relinquish because she is poor and some infertile couple are so very sad, I want to vomit.</I><BR/><BR/>Me too, gf. Me too.Suz Bednarzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09827141425910483683noreply@blogger.com