tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post4997512614668180840..comments2023-09-23T02:16:11.746-06:00Comments on Thoughts from a Foster Family: No Follow-up (udate, twice)Yondallahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-62467886075306700392007-09-24T11:19:00.000-06:002007-09-24T11:19:00.000-06:00I would suggest this is an issue to bring up with ...I would suggest this is an issue to bring up with his counselour and let the professionals figure it out. It sounds like he's torn in a lot of different directions and is concerned about loyalty to a lot of different parties (you and hubby included). The counselour is trained to help Frankie learn that he can have loving (and hopefully healthy or healthier) relationships with all of you. You can't fix it with a letter or a phone call.<BR/><BR/>It has been easiest for me over the years to simply have ZERO contact with my mother. Since I moved out umpteen years ago, I have seen my mother at my first wedding in 1999 and at my father's funeral in January 2006. Both times caused me insane amounts of anxiety - even though there is *nothing* she could possibly do to me anymore. <BR/><BR/>Also as a side note (and the parent of a ADHD child), what's that famous joke? <BR/>Q: How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?<BR/>A: LET'S GO RIDE BIKES!!!!!AidelMaidelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10788500419305677402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-50896518250810389622007-09-23T18:35:00.000-06:002007-09-23T18:35:00.000-06:00Thanks for editing. I was beginning to feel like t...Thanks for editing. I was beginning to feel like the blogging police. hehe<BR/><BR/>I was very interested to read what you wrote about neglected children not asking for things again. I have noticed this in my house and I have always thought it meant that they weren't really interested or that it wasn't really important to them. Thanks for making me reexamine that!Kerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235941490505824539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-22444800178848294972007-09-23T16:12:00.000-06:002007-09-23T16:12:00.000-06:00I don't think it's necessary to tread so lightly. ...I don't think it's necessary to tread so lightly. I would say, "Frankie, I have time now to help you write to your dad now if you want." The ADD probably makes him forgetful even about doing something he wants to do. If he does really want to avoid it, he'll find a way. Besides, part of your job I think is to help Frankie learn how to manage the feelings he has when he's triggered.processhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11896815941859100568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-75835508395358052002007-09-23T15:58:00.000-06:002007-09-23T15:58:00.000-06:00Is there a way you could do something similar to t...Is there a way you could do something similar to the cell-phone programming for the letter to his dad? Setting out a block of letter paper somewhere, and saying something inviting but noncommittal ("Here is some letter-writing paper we can use to write notes or letters, like the letter to your dad you mentioned")? Such that you've indicated willingness/interest without being pushy? Of course, if thinking about his dad is upsetting a visual reminder may not be ideal. What a tricky line to tread!parodiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15454972767684196711noreply@blogger.com