tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post4143922506177879522..comments2023-09-23T02:16:11.746-06:00Comments on Thoughts from a Foster Family: I need helpYondallahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-33046159459987635562007-10-03T18:07:00.000-06:002007-10-03T18:07:00.000-06:00Lionmom's suggestion is a good one. We do that he...Lionmom's suggestion is a good one. We do that here too. If what ever he is obsessing about (whether it be clothes, video game, tv, whatever) is making him upset or angry to the point of lashing out it must stop immediately. He does keep it in check most of the time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-38502330175883506142007-10-02T16:56:00.000-06:002007-10-02T16:56:00.000-06:00We allowed the obsession as long as it didn't inte...We allowed the obsession as long as it didn't interfere with her ability to function (in relative terms). Our other non-negotiable about her obsessions was that she could not lash out at us over something she was obsessed about. If she got too mean or if she could function less than her "normal" ability to do so, then we would tell her that we were sad it was controlling her and that we needed to be in charge of whatever it was until she could control her feelings. We would give her another shot fairly quickly and then periodically until she could control it or it became an obsession of the past.Lionmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00202517405694764143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-28070428976309463782007-10-02T06:47:00.000-06:002007-10-02T06:47:00.000-06:00I and my son are both OCD. I agree with Sheri on ...I and my son are both OCD. I agree with Sheri on the medication issue. Without meds no one in my life can deal with me. I still drive my hubby nuts, but he has learned to cope.<BR/><BR/>The online stuff like message boards are a good idea too. I have set Cody up with some online penpals, and he has enjoyed IM'ing and playing games with them and I get left alone and get some quiet time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-6175717385740883002007-10-01T23:05:00.000-06:002007-10-01T23:05:00.000-06:00Slightly off topic suggestion: since it is possibl...Slightly off topic suggestion: since it is possible to make him direct his interest towards another game, it might be useful to channel his obsession to something that might help him. Since he likes trivia, he might enjoy crossword puzzles... this might additionally help him with his language skills. An obsession with Sudoku might help his numerical skills. Or there might be other puzzles/games that are challenging but help him learn something. This might not make your life easier, but may actually be of benefit to him later in life. <BR/>Just a thought...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-10072335028872536312007-10-01T18:59:00.000-06:002007-10-01T18:59:00.000-06:00I have a very obsessive personality. In fact, I'm ...I have a very obsessive personality. In fact, I'm going to the doctor next week because I think I need to go back on medication. I'm sort of germ-phobic, not to a huge extreme but I am. I also am afraid of bugs being on my bed or in my clothes. I'm a checker.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, I think I need medication. But back to Frankie, I'm also tend to get obsessed with things.<BR/><BR/>Like I'll become obsessed with a Broadway show. My obsession now is my credit report. I'm obsessed with cleaning it up.<BR/><BR/>Mrs Butter B is on to something and that is online groups. See, IRL nobody I know wants to listen to me talk about my positive trade lines and the letter I wrote to the collection agency for my erroneous posting. But there are tons of online forums where I can talk with people all day long if I want to.<BR/><BR/>It's about boundaries, I think. I think what you said was important. You understand that WoW is important to Frankie, but it isn't too you. Point him in the direction of people that are similarly obsessed.<BR/><BR/>Hope this helps.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-8327140638694183822007-10-01T17:23:00.000-06:002007-10-01T17:23:00.000-06:00Hey, I mentioned this once before, but thought it ...Hey, I mentioned this once before, but thought it worth a repeat- for OCD, often kids will see a decrease in symptomology if they are treated for yeast problems in their stomach. Talk to the dr for more details. I know that I read about someone else getting treated for it not long ago (I think on a Clubmom blog called kariannaspectrum.)<BR/><BR/>Would it help to find him a video game group? Even an online chatroom for kids? When I got tired of hearing "Hannah MOntana" a bazillion times a day, I parked my girl at the disney.com chatrooms. Terrible, aren't I. She tired of it eventually and came back to real life.<BR/><BR/>Not very therapeutic, I know, but certainly saves the adult's sanity. Perhaps if Frankie has such trouble IRL making friends, it might be easier online. Less pressure, more flexibility with identity, less judgementalness. (Is that a word?)<BR/><BR/>Just a thought.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-8833198809270080752007-10-01T14:00:00.000-06:002007-10-01T14:00:00.000-06:00I am an adoptive mom of an OCD child who came from...I am an adoptive mom of an OCD child who came from foster care. And I have OCD myself. I never had the compulsive hand-washing side of OCD, but I certainly have the obsessive side. <BR/><BR/>I can tell you from my own experience that he CANNOT control the obsession if he is truly OCD. There is nothing you can do to "talk yourself down" when you are OCD. The instance you talked about where it failed and later he had to re-attempt to get it done another way made me smile. That is SOOOOO me. I cannot let something go if I think it must get done, no matter how many times i fail.<BR/><BR/>I truly believe that had I not "found" medication 8 yeara ago, my marriage would've failed and I would not be a mother to 3 wonderful chidlren today. My OCD ruined my life and soured all my relationships. I was obsessed, and nothing or noone else mattered when I was obsessed with something. <BR/><BR/>I am on a very low dose of medication. About 2 years ago I decided to take myself off medication with doctor's permission and tried to live without it for a while. That lasted all of 3 weeks. Not a good plan. Even with medication, I still obsess over things, some things must be done just so, but I can cope far better than I ever coud've pre-medication. <BR/><BR/>Please try to get him assessed and possibly medicated. He will thank you for it.Sherihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16598822471867683429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-32327630611722762012007-10-01T12:34:00.000-06:002007-10-01T12:34:00.000-06:00I like what you are doing with mirroring. I would ...I like what you are doing with mirroring. I would do more of that...make him tell you what he hears. <BR/><BR/>It sounds like he is OCD. Does he have any other "tics"?<BR/><BR/>KKerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235941490505824539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-22613915569279888082007-10-01T11:31:00.000-06:002007-10-01T11:31:00.000-06:00Hey, I'm a new reader, coming from a bunch of tran...Hey, I'm a new reader, coming from a bunch of transracial parenting blogs...<BR/><BR/>In coming to terms with my *own* obsessive behaviour (not at the scale of Frankie's) it is helpful for me to understand obsession as a response to fear, and to ask myself "What am I afraid of?" That's probably not immediately helpful for you, though... Good luck.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01855247379440928269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-10764004399246441432007-10-01T10:36:00.000-06:002007-10-01T10:36:00.000-06:00I'm definitely not an expert in this area, but I t...I'm definitely not an expert in this area, but I think simply setting appropriate boundaries is all you can do.<BR/><BR/>I think you are right in saying that this isn't something you can change in Frankie, as it's really an innate characteristic. <BR/><BR/>Perhaps medication might help?<BR/><BR/>I honestly don't know what to tell you, other than you need to draw your own boundaries very firmly to avoid being driven completely crazy.<BR/><BR/>You hang in there...FosterAbbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11431773317761777407noreply@blogger.com