tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post385607930430459491..comments2023-09-23T02:16:11.746-06:00Comments on Thoughts from a Foster Family: Unpopular View, IndeedYondallahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-8221714308803457262007-10-11T11:08:00.000-06:002007-10-11T11:08:00.000-06:00Though it may be true that the truly dedicated mak...<I>Though it may be true that the truly dedicated make sacrifices, it is fallacious to conclude from that that you attract and keep the best people by requiring unreasonable sacrifices as part of the job.</I><BR/><BR/>I agree wholeheartedly. My mom was one of those super-dedicated elementary school teachers, and she did reach into her own pocket more times than any of us could count. Why did she stop teaching? The system/lack of support eventually became too much to deal with and she quit.<BR/><BR/>No one would expect a surgeon (in the US at least) to buy the sutures or gauze for his or her patients, but it's okay (and expected) for teachers, foster parents and other child educators and caregivers to subsidize things from their own pockets when the system doesn't meet minimal needs (I'm not talking lavish vacations here, but socks and underwear type necessities).wenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03405214739637253818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-84974899903312104172007-10-07T19:36:00.000-06:002007-10-07T19:36:00.000-06:00A good parallel might be hubby's job as an element...A good parallel might be hubby's job as an elementary school teacher. I think most people agree that the best elementary school teachers are the ones who enjoy their job and their students and will go above and beyond to help students where they can. The problem is that we use that logic to justify paying them almost nothing even though they are performing one of the jobs we value most. That puts teachers in the position of having to choose between buying school supplies for their students and buying lessons or treats or other items for themselves or their families. <BR/><BR/>I personally think that there are many people out there who would love to be a teacher or a foster parent for all the right reasons, but who choose not to because it means sacrificing too many other things they value. And that is a loss to the schools and the system and the children.sarsmilehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00723926033866806632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-1525049118135951312007-10-07T11:32:00.000-06:002007-10-07T11:32:00.000-06:00My apologies to Baggage -- Making her feel bad was...My apologies to Baggage -- Making her feel bad was the last thing in my mind. We've emailed regarding this post and she declined my offer to delete the reference to her.<BR/><BR/>Let me say as clearly as I can that I greatly admire Baggage, and that I believe accepting help that was offered (not requested) was wise. <BR/><BR/>She has nothing but my admiration.Yondallahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-50737158410934405672007-10-07T09:57:00.000-06:002007-10-07T09:57:00.000-06:00Well, I've made all my feelings apparent so far I ...Well, I've made all my feelings apparent so far I think.<BR/><BR/>It makes me feel good to be called out as a dedicated foster parent in the post on Process's blog. However, it makes me feel ashamed and embarassed to be called out as having to accept donations on this blog. <BR/><BR/>I guess what I am trying to say is that I was able to somehow get through having these kids, but just barely. If I didn't have a boyfriend who ponied up his credit card and a mom who sent me money and a dad who babysat for free while he should have been working AND a blog that gets enough hits then I never would have made it.<BR/><BR/>Some might look at it as a sign of my devotion and dedication to children that I took on five children when obviously I didn't have the means to support them without the state reimbursement.<BR/><BR/>Others would look at it as complete irresponsibility.<BR/><BR/>Yet, if I was in a program like Yondalla's, it would be a moot point.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-27163920995353631482007-10-06T16:09:00.000-06:002007-10-06T16:09:00.000-06:00It seems to me there are two approaches to having ...It seems to me there are two approaches to having good people in a system:<BR/>- provide excellent support and resources, to the point that so many people want to do something that you can pick and chose the most able or (at the very least) stop employing the least able<BR/>- provide very few resources and assume (or hope) that only the very dedicated and motivated will volunteer.<BR/><BR/>I'm not convinced the latter is the best approach.parodiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15454972767684196711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-3558843460176570882007-10-06T14:13:00.000-06:002007-10-06T14:13:00.000-06:00I agree, and I must say that comparatively speakin...I agree, and I must say that comparatively speaking I think we are well paid. It's all the other bull you know what that I could do without. We are strictly state, not agency. We can't go agency because we have too many children in our home, and so, as strictly state we are the bottom of the totem pole. No support, no mediators, just us vs the turnips and the Simons, who have the power to make us miserable. <BR/><BR/>We never have to fight for our monthly stipend, but I am still fighting for things they agreed to pay for last year (there is a glitch in the system they tell me! HA!) and Walmart won't even take their payment vouchers because they know they will never get paid, and now the rec centers have caught on as well. That is pathetic and frankly unacceptable. Then when I don't want to sign them up for an expensive activity and take financial responsibility it's because I don't care enough or I'm "only in this for the money". Ugh.Kerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235941490505824539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-14333849435158330492007-10-06T13:47:00.000-06:002007-10-06T13:47:00.000-06:00You know, I almost used you as an example in my po...You know, I almost used you as an example in my post, but decided that it would make the post too long. I was going to say something about how you DO get (almost) fully reimbursed, and that it helps you provide high-quality care, but that you work within a different system, one that has other filters. <BR/><BR/>I just want to say that I am not at all opposed to foster parents being fully reimbursed--I even support professional foster parenting--and I ALWAYS do my best to get foster parents as much financial support as possible.processhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11896815941859100568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-78205697235739603342007-10-06T13:26:00.000-06:002007-10-06T13:26:00.000-06:00Amen. I think social workers who insist that "that...Amen. I think social workers who insist that "that's what parents do" forget that parents also typically have careers next to being amateur social workers, i.e., most foster parents have jobs, then their own parental relationships, and then have to take on the therapeutic parent role with the foster child. This is a lot to ask, and there is no reason that at least the financial expenses (as opposed to the emotional ones) cannot be adequately and fully reimbursed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com