tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post1721458758174367605..comments2023-09-23T02:16:11.746-06:00Comments on Thoughts from a Foster Family: Thinking about the processYondallahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-46466830927541464252010-02-11T23:42:27.410-07:002010-02-11T23:42:27.410-07:00I like your post. You express yourself beautifully...I like your post. You express yourself beautifully!!<br />All the best!!<br /><br />This is Nancy from <a href="http://samsonblinded.org/news/us-national-intellegince-diplomacy-wont-stop-iran-8767" rel="nofollow">Israeli Uncensored News</a>Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14066023955810777981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-91558882744398988592010-02-07T19:09:35.835-07:002010-02-07T19:09:35.835-07:00It's funny because I am 30 and I have just rec...It's funny because I am 30 and I have just recently made the grand gesture with my mother and cut her out of my life. We went to Ethiopia to adopt our youngest daughter and when we came home she had no interest in meeting our new daughter. It was heartbreaking. And so I told her I really did not want to have anything to do with her anymore. I feel empowered. I really do. I protected my children from someone who could do nothing but hurt them (she was abusive to me as a child and even though I tried to get past it as an adult I never fully trusted her). <br /><br />But yet the pain remains. She failed me as a child and now she failed my kids. And it hurts. It stinks. I don't think of it at all times but when I do - it stinks!Upstatemammahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16862359333933751151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-66895347747528676672010-02-05T09:25:45.343-07:002010-02-05T09:25:45.343-07:00I don't know...I think it just might help.
...I don't know...I think it just might help. <br /><br />I know from personal experience, while it hurts to end a relationship regardless of whether you're the dumper or the dumpee, it salvages your pride and gives you a bit more confidence when you are the dumper. You still have to deal with the loss, yes, but you at least have the knowledge in your head that you had the sense to bail when you realized it was pulling you down, as opposed to sticking it out and then getting creamed by the other person. For a kid in foster care, confidence is often hard to find.<br /><br />For my older girls, I know they really struggled when their bio mom dumped them on a relative, then called to say (they heard the ans mach msg) that I could have them if I wanted them, that she didn't anymore. They were the dumpees and it crushed them completely. A few years later, they made the choice to walk away from the majority of that bio family because of the way they were treated, and it really really really helped them "find their backbone" per se, which helped them later defend themselves and avoid being in a repetitive cycle of accepting abusive relationships.<br /><br />So good for Gary. I can see this has benefits, but my concern (as I'm sure yours is also) is that regardless of how cruddy family can be, choosing to walk away from it is like choosing to let go of the leaky life raft in the middle of the ocean. You may regret it, you may not, but you probably won't know for a while, and by the time you do know, it would likely be too late to do anything about it. <br /><br />I hope it all works well for Gary and I'm thrilled that you're getting to officially add your boys to the legal family tree. For the people in the world that think family is limited to those on the birth cert or marraige doc or that share DNA, this is important. Specifically, next of kin situations, etc. Congrats!Stacie Guesswork (aka Mrs Butter B)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17009516649727981277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-50600045623796734162010-02-04T19:35:16.373-07:002010-02-04T19:35:16.373-07:00Whoo boy. Your reference to feeling jealous of you...Whoo boy. Your reference to feeling jealous of your mom for being able to divorce your father is very familiar to me! Although I am well aware of all the reasons that I couldn't just cut him out of my life, there are definitely times that I am envious of the way my mother has been able to move on and cease to put up with my dad. My sister is still very much in the stage of trying to emotionally divorce him - but she's slowly learning it just doesn't work that way for kids and their parents. Ah, families are hard aren't they? <br /><br />I'm glad that Gary has someone who understands this process so well to help him through it! :)Rachie317https://www.blogger.com/profile/14646338773104987972noreply@blogger.com