tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post115445906929889894..comments2023-09-23T02:16:11.746-06:00Comments on Thoughts from a Foster Family: Unconditional commitmentYondallahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10375966725096729570noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-1154887471187561382006-08-06T12:04:00.000-06:002006-08-06T12:04:00.000-06:00My two cents is also that a lot of teens are MORE ...My two cents is also that a lot of teens are MORE comfortable with NOT "abandoning" their birth family but just "living with" someone else (and denying that they really feel safe, comfortable and loved there b/c we all know teens won't ever verbalize THAT). I had a kid once on my caseload that was with the SAME foster family from age 12 to 20, never wanting to be adopted, went back to his foster home every holiday and all breaks from college but said that he just feels like he has two familes and that had he been "taken" from his bio family and adopted he would have felt like his existance prior to age 12 didn't count/matter and he was supposed to "start fresh" without a "past" (his words).Audreyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05836324687608333747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21112957.post-1154469224320534982006-08-01T15:53:00.000-06:002006-08-01T15:53:00.000-06:00I will probably have to write a whole post myself ...I will probably have to write a whole post myself about Pat O'Brien's philosophy, but for now I just want to say that I find it incredibly over-simplified. As you point out, he doesn't take into account what the chiild brings to the placement in terms of the child's ability to attach. Also, he doesn't address the whole idea of "fit" between parent and child (although he may do this elsewhere). Comparing the unconditional love a parent has for a bio child to how one goes about parenting a foster/adoptive child just completely disregards all the complicated differences between those two types of relationships. Becoming a parent to an older child who is a stranger is very, very different than becoming a parent to a bio child, and to expect the one to be just like the other is to set the relationship up for failure.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com